There are few things the internet junta likes to outrage over more than suspected use of Photoshop. No, there’s one other thing they like: calling out the woman in the picture for sanctioning this worst of all crimes against feminism. The latest to have the Hose of Righteousness turned on her full-blast is Britney Spears, thanks to her cover for the American edition of Women’s Health.
Despite the magazine’s use of a helpful arrow to point at what’s noteworthy about this picture (her abs), a heated conversation has broken out over why her face looks so different. To put rumours of a nose job and digital manipulation to rest, a video of the cover shoot has been released to prove that this is the 100 per cent genuine article.
The snideness and barely suppressed rage in some of the comments on this story is hilarious and alarming. Who are these people and why do they sound so personally injured? Did Spears’s supposed nose job rob a more deserving candidate of a nose job? For that matter, why were they so mad about Renee Zellweger a few months ago? Why are we acting like Spears and Zellweger don’t live in the same world as the rest of us, one obsessed with perfection and cheekbones? A world where we don’t gleefully share stories like this?
Maybe nostalgia is the reason. We get mad when we realise that celebs we grew up watching have also grown up and developed adult complications. We act out because we think we are owed their perpetual innocence. So while we are free to obsess over flat abs and steep clavicles, Britney Spears and Renee Zellweger, whose jobs depend on their looks, should take a stand by remaining soft, pudgy and pliant. It may be time to put down the Hose or find a worthier target, people.
As for the root of all evil, Photoshop, let us turn to Bossypants for the final word: “I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.”
