It’s not even Christmas and Lisa Haydon has already destroyed her New Year’s fitness resolution. And yours. The model just popped out a tiny person and immediately went back to having abs. None of that, “ New year, new me” nonsense, Lisa is keeping her old abs. Go home, 2018.
The actress strategically coloured her hair before displaying her abs (all six, the whole gang’s here), so that us mortals know that this is most definitely her post-pregnancy bod. The only logical explanation here is that Lisa Haydon confused a post-pregnancy body with a revenge body. But whom is she exacting her revenge on? Mother nature, genetics and gravity are all on her side.
In a single year, Lisa has managed to go from pre-pregnancy body, to mildly pregnant to pre-pregnancy body again. She has gone full circle and still managed to take a shortcut. Lisa has achieved what 4 New Year’s resolutions, 2 different gym memberships and a lifetime of self-loathing couldn’t do for me.
In defence of unfit people the world over, Lisa Haydon has probably slipped Mother Nature a little summin’ summin for those #blessed genes. Even at her pregnant fullest, she looked like she had simply put away a few cold ones and a Happy Meal.
Maybe it’s the lighting… that has to be it, right? We know Lisa and the sun are friends because no body tans that evenly. But is it possibly that she has managed to get a contour tan* (trademark pending)? Is this torso simply a play of lighting and budget-busting body oils? We’re only this sceptical because we’ve never seen a baby bump bounce back this fast. Give us something to work with, a stretch mark, a juice cleanse, bad breath in the morning. Anything. If we hadn’t shot a pregnant Lisa Haydon for the cover ourselves, we might have entertained the thought that this whole pregnancy thing was a hoax. Call us conspiracy theorists but this may be the proof that aliens exist. Lisa Haydon’s pregnancy had the same effect on her body as one cheat day has on most mortals. Have you actually seen a picture of E.T.? His slender arms and ever-so-slight belly are the discerning factors of his alien race. Lisa had both during her pregnancy. While E.T has managed to keep his pregnancy bod, Lisa has clearly shed her alien skin to walk among us. If this is a very sexy alien invasion, please take the women and children first.
