6 reasons why you’re still friends with your ex
What's your excuse?
While it’s not uncommon to shudder at the thought of ever speaking to your ex again, there are the rare few that manage to maintain some sort of friendship after a break-up. However, the reasons you might still be calling your ex up are varied—and science says it’s likely you’re falling into old habits due to one of six reasons:
- Sentimentality: This is popular amongst couples who have been together a long time and share multiple memories.
- Pragmatism: If you relied on your partner to do certain things, chances are you’ll still want them around.
- Continued romantic attraction: A no-brainer and perhaps an indication you’re not friends for the right reasons.
- Shared resources: If you share children or a mortgage, maintaining a friendship with your ex can make things easier (see Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom).
- Diminished romantic feelings: If your heart no longer flutters when you see your ex, you may have a real chance at recovering the friendship.
- Social relationship maintenance: If you have friends in common with your ex, you may want to stay cordial for the sake of your inner circle.
Interestingly, the study says also revealed that men rated practical and sexual reasons for staying friends as more important than women did. In addition, extraverted personalities were more likely to value pragmatic reasons for staying friendly with an ex, while people who scored higher in agreeableness prioritised sentimentality.
Whatever the reason for staying friendly with someone who perhaps once drove you up the wall, don’t forget about the study that indicates you may be a psychopath if you stay in touch with your ex.
“Narcissists hate to fail or lose, so will do what they can to maintain some connection if they didn’t make the choice to end it,” narcissism expert Dr. Tony Ferretti says. “They can experience narcissistic injury when rejected by a partner and have difficulties letting it go or healing from it.”
Perhaps it’s time to cut the cord once and for all? It all depends which category you fall under.
From : Elle UK
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