Whether you’re dealing with heartbreak or getting the love of your life to notice you, you’re much better off not looking to Bollywood for any help. Here are eight ridiculous lies Bollywood has fed us:
1) If your bae is leaving the country, fret not, you can always dash through airport security—no questions asked—for a last-minute heart-to-heart. Terror threats be damned.
2) If you’re in love, you can dance on top of snow-peaked mountains in tiny skirts or chiffon saris and not feel cold at all. Just FYI, while love may warm your heart, it does nothing to insulate you from the biting cold or stop you from losing a toe or two from hypothermia IRL.
3) If the love of your life says ‘no’ to you that obviously means that he/she actually wants to say yes. So the only solution is to continuously harass them until their ‘no’ becomes a ‘yes’, because the concept of consent is fictional and harassment is romantic.
4) If the boy you love doesn’t love you back, or does not know you exist, then ditch your personality and get a makeover. Wear a little bit of make-up, put on that salwar kameez and show that boy what a conventionally beautiful girl you can be.
5) If you go under a disguise (by disguise, we mean shave off your moustache or take off your nerdy glasses) and try to get close to the love of your life who does not love you back (yet), they will never figure out that it’s actually you and will fall in love with you. Looking at you, Shah Rukh Khan.
6) If there is a misunderstanding between you and your boo, then clearing it out with said boo is obviously the last resort. You may run away, break-up with them or kill yourself (or them) before you actually clear the issue out. While relationship counsellors may cry themselves hoarse saying that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, it is actually the opposite in IBL (that is ‘In Bollywood Life’, for the uninitiated).
7) If there is a major snag in your relationship then the only way things can get resolved is if you serenade your bae with a deep, moving ballad. You can throw in an elaborately choreographed dance routine to sweeten the deal.
8) If you’re suffering from a heart break, you will never ugly cry. Your late night crying session may very well look like a beauty shoot for a magazine and your mascara will always be waterproof. Of all the lies Bollywood has told us about love, this one seems to be the most hurtful one TBH.
