Dear E. Jean: I can’t fake it with the phony, self-serving types at work. If I dislike someone, I walk out of the room. I’m frank with the people that I detest. I tell them to not even try to talk to me. Being blunt has worked for me at my job for several years because I’ve been indispensable. But now I’ve reached a level at my company where if I wish to advance, I’m going to have to put on a fake face. Either that, or stay where I am. And staying where I am is getting boring.
I don’t have the personality to fake it. What am I supposed to do? Is there any way I can work with people I don’t like without feeling like I’m being fake and betraying myself? Or should I try a different career path? —Not a Wallflower
Miss Wall, My Dear: Pish! Posh! Don’t come blathering to Auntie Eeee with your “I can’t fake it” routine. Yes, it’s true that a smart, charming, optimistic, likable person will rise in a company faster than a whiny asshole—and every business requires that its CEO be an optimist—but it’s also true that every CEO needs her curmudgeon.
A curmudgeon often sees what other employees don’t and, many times, can assess risk better than all the optimists in the building. So, if you promise me you’ll restrain yourself from making another hurtful personal remark to a coworker, I’ll tell you how to rise in your company—without so much as a smile.
But first I’d like to dedicate this column to Sir Isaac Newton, the greatest curmudgeon in history: You may be famous for discovering the laws of gravity, but I love you for your curly hair, Sir Isaac, and for only laughing twice in your life.
Without further ado, then—three curmudgeon moves to advance your career:
1. Wear beautiful things. Frown, scowl, wrap your eyebrows around your nose as much as you please, but if you look chic, you’ll be perceived as possessing a strong mind, with elegance of execution.
2. Distribute Cronuts in the office—weekly. Your coworkers will judge you to be sweeter and—weirdly!—become most warmly attached to you and your long face.
3. Give credit. Tweet, Pin, Facebook, e-mail (or just grab the boss by her lapels), and harrumph in praise of your coworkers. They will (ye gods!) almost love you for it.
This letter is from the E. Jean archive.
From: ELLE UK
