Bollywood's middle-aged men are laying thirst traps that are borderline illegal


Bollywood’s middle-aged men are laying thirst traps that are borderline illegal

This isn't a snack, it's a goddamn feast

By Simone Dhondy  June 21st, 2018

We’re calling bullshit on the mid-life crisis. That period in a man’s life where he’s supposed to get a red sports car because he’s ageing isn’t a thing. And it’s definitely not a crisis. If science (Read: Instagram) is anything to go by, there’s a whole generation of Bollywood men only getting better in their middle age.

Does this look like a crisis to you?

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Jul 13, 2017 at 5:06am PDT

Don’t look at it. It’s a trap. A thirst trap. Here’s something to quench that thirst:

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on Jun 18, 2018 at 5:30am PDT

Psyche. That was another trap designed to drain the moisture from your skin to keep these men looking evergreen. There’s no other explanation as to how these men have managed to get sexier with age. Unless their blood is wine. And if so, it’s clear that Dino Morea’s cup runneth over.

A post shared by Dino Morea (@thedinomorea) on Jul 12, 2017 at 3:59am PDT

While millennials have spent the last year debating whether dad-bod is a thing to justify their excessive salted chip intake, these men have been laying thirst traps all over the internet. Proving that the dad-bod is, in fact, not a thing.

Take it from this Dad:

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on Feb 1, 2018 at 9:27pm PST

And this one. Yes, we know he’s not a father.

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Dec 7, 2015 at 5:02am PST

Is it too much of a coincidence that both these men are sitting on a rock wearing nothing but trousers? Do they have a Hotties Over 40 club where they decide how to lure unsuspecting ogglers on Instagram? Clearly. 

A post shared by Dino Morea (@thedinomorea) on Jan 17, 2018 at 2:09am PST

Like a symposium, but they decide which pictures will parch their followers the most. A SymPOSEum, if you will. And you will, because at this point, we are too dehydrated to argue.

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Nov 15, 2015 at 6:01am PST

Their club obviously has rules. Like whenever near a body of water, one better be shirtless.

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Aug 12, 2015 at 3:44am PDT

Rahul Khanna is very serious about this one.

A post shared by Dino Morea (@thedinomorea) on Dec 3, 2016 at 6:26am PST

Dino plays along too.

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on Jan 19, 2018 at 12:32am PST

Farhan broke the rule once, and Rahul had to show him again.

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Jan 6, 2017 at 4:09am PST

We’re pretty sure you can leave your hat on though:

A post shared by Dino Morea (@thedinomorea) on May 20, 2018 at 11:20pm PDT

But even with all the thirst-trapping, they’ve managed to maintain their individual identities. So that you can pick your daddy issues and run with them. There’s something for everyone. 

Dino Morea plays to the bad-boy, bike-riding, gym selfie-taking, football-kicking school of hotties. He’s basically testosterone wrapped in muscle.

A post shared by Dino Morea (@thedinomorea) on May 31, 2017 at 5:48am PDT

Seriously, he pulls out all the big guns… like he has a choice

A post shared by Dino Morea (@thedinomorea) on May 2, 2017 at 10:47am PDT

Farhan Akhtar has the brooding rockstar thing going for him.

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on Apr 28, 2018 at 2:21am PDT

The last time you wanted to be a mic this badly was during Enrique’s India tour.

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on May 22, 2018 at 5:48am PDT

 You just know Farhan’s the type of guy who lies around shirtless in glasses, writing poems about his feelings, which you’ll one day get around to reading but those abs are just such a distraction.

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on May 22, 2018 at 5:48am PDT

Then there’s Rahul Khanna. Thirst trap extraordinaire. If Instagram were Monopoly, Rahul would own all the property and wear a top hat and a monocle. Like a sexy Monopoly Man

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Aug 24, 2016 at 6:35am PDT

Rahul wear scarves and makes low-fat hot cocoa. He reads, but only leather-bound books.

A post shared by Farhan Akhtar (@faroutakhtar) on May 22, 2018 at 5:48am PDT

And for the amount he travels, not once has his shampoo spilt in his suitcase because he’s just full of handy travel hacks. 

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Mar 1, 2018 at 2:52am PST

One would question how these men transformed themselves from thirstlings to full-grown thirst timber. Not a red car in sight. Clearly vehicles are not necessary for the transformation of a mid-life crisis because these lads are in their Optimus Prime.

A post shared by Rahul Khanna (@mrkhanna) on Jul 8, 2016 at 2:26am PDT