In its charitable gesture for the day, the Internet is now raising money to help Kylie Jenner become a billionaire. At a measly $900 milion, Kylie Jenner could really use your help. The 20-year-old clearly has no idea what she’s doing. I mean the social media star and new mom now has a second mouth to feed, guys.
“Kylie Jenner was on the cover of Forbes Magazine today for having a net worth of 900 million dollars, which is heartbreaking. I don’t want to live in a world where Kylie Jenner doesn’t have a billion dollars. WE MUST RAISE 100 MILLION DOLLARS TO HELP HER GET TO A BILLION, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD, THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. LINK IN BIO TO DONATE.”
@thefatjewish has personally begun the international campaign to get Kylie where she needs to be, at $1billion. So far the campaign is at $248 of its $100.0M goal after one day of launching. Considering that her first-ever round of lip kits sold out within a minute, @thefatjewish may want to reconsider his strategy.
Poke fun at Kylie all you want, but she’s very soon going to be the world’s youngest self-made billionaire. Redefining self-made and your perception of billionaires. While the tech geeks are all trying to figure out the next app to launch them into the big league, Kylie is exploiting it. Weaponizing her Instagram following of 111 million, Kylie Jenner launched one of the most deadly marketing campaigns of Instagram’s career 3 years ago.
If you had asked me in 2015 if I would take financial advice from Kylie Jenner, I would have had to stop sucking on the shot glass on my mouth before I could tell you that I would not. Everybody was quick to criticize her lip choices when she got fillers, but they were quicker to get their hands on her lip kits. I mean, are we conditioned to think that this is what an almost-billionaire looks like?
No, society would have us believe that this is the unbelievably young mistress of a billionaire. But Kylie literally got you to put your money where her mouth is. It’s all great to take Warren Buffet’s financial wisdom at face value but this man could NOT sell me a lip kit:
Forget millionaire. There needs to be a new word for what Kylie is. She’s a Millennialaire, we’re running with it. Girlfriend is tanned, toned and young enough to enjoy her money.
Mark Zuckerberg can post that.
It’s clear Kylie plans to make it into the three comma club in the near future. Her newest campaign is proof of that:
Everything about this screams
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But it’s become clear that Kylie is trying to comply with billionaire standards of beauty with her current natural lips lewk.
Let’s look at the world’s richest men, shall we?
Five of the world’s top dawgs and not a lip in sight.
We hope Kylie manages to be the world’s first self-made billionaire. Not just because she deserves it with her great product and whip-smart strategy, but also because she’ll make history as a woman. To have the youngest ever self-made billionaire be a beautiful girl who never dropped out of an Ivy League will hopefully stop the world from legally blonding the entire sex.
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