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ELLE India’s Ultimate Breakup Survival Guide

You'll get through it. Promise.

By Sakshi Sharma  October 3rd, 2021

We’re not going to lie, the post-breakup healing journey is quite the rollercoaster. After all, mending a broken heart isn’t an easy job. Take your time and be kind to yourself. Here are some things you can do to ease the pain:

Wallow

Allow yourself to feel your feelings. It’s okay if all you want to do is stay in bed with a bucket full of Häagen-Dazs and cry. You don’t have to be Rory from Gilmore Girls who spent the day after her breakup waking up at six in the morning and making lists about garden hoses. Listen to her mother, Lorelai- put on those PJs, eat junk food, watch a sappy rom-com and sob. Giving yourself the time to process your emotions can help you heal. Although, don’t let it get to a point where you lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. 

See them for who they really are 

Take off those rose-tinted glasses and put on your x-ray vision goggles. They’ll help you see all the red flags you overlooked when you were blinded by love. Now is not the time to dwell on the good things you’ll miss about your ex. If you want to move on, be honest about why things didn’t work out and remind yourself why you both weren’t a good fit. Sure, they had dreamy eyes but remember how they brought tears to yours every night? 

Drink, but don’t drink and text (or call or drive)

We know you’re not going to abide by the no-booze suggestion. So drink to your broken heart’s content. However, we don’t want this turning into a Bollywood movie post-breakup scene with drunk you under their house, now do we? Nor do you want to wake up the next morning realising you gave them 46 missed calls. So keep your phone and car keys away and only then unbottle the alcohol.

Take care of yourself 

Don’t let the break-up break you. Know when it’s time to get out of bed and get your life together. You shouldn’t be ruining your mental and physical health over someone else. Hit the gym, eat healthy and sleep well. Focus on yourself and do the things that bring you joy. Don’t hesitate to talk to friends or family or a therapist about your feelings. Vent it out. 

Rebound with a different kind of relationship 

A relationship can come in various forms- from a new book to a plant – anything that fills you up with love and warmth. Reconnect with nature and spend time with your pets. It’s hard to see the good side of life in these times but we can assure you that you have so much to be grateful for. Remember, the most important bond you share is the one with yourself. 

Learn from it 

Every person comes into your life for a reason. If not as a blessing, then as a lesson. Zoom out of the situation and see what this relationship has taught you about life and about yourself. Remember, love is not something you do, it is what you are. It never leaves you. 

Plan your comeback 

When the time is right, make your comeback. Get up, get dressed, ring up your best friends and hit the town. It’s time to leave the past in the past. Do things you enjoy that you didn’t normally get to do with your ex. Go on a trip, get a makeover, learn a new language- explore and experience new things. Healing isn’t a linear process, it’s going to be tough, but you’re going to come out of it as a better version of yourself. 

Bonus: Breakup Playlist 

It’s better than listening to old voice notes from your ex

Songs to cry to 

Someone Like You – Adele 

Stay With Me – Sam Smith 

Stay – Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko

Say SomethingA Great Big World, Christina Aguilera

It Must’ve Been LoveRoxette

Slide Away- Miley Cyrus 

Dancing On My OwnCalum Scott

Lose You To Love Me – Selena Gomez

Call Out My Name – The Weekend 

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston

 

Songs to blast 

Shout Out To My Ex – Little Mix

Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

We Are Never Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift 

Roar – Katy Perry

Survivor – Destiny Child 

Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

So What – P!nk 

Single Ladies – Beyonce 

Send My Love – Adele 

Thanku, Next – Ariana Grande

GIFs via: GIPHY