The idiot's guide to sounding like a Game of Thrones fan


The idiot’s guide to sounding like a Game of Thrones fan

For the night is dark and full of Game of Thrones fanatics

By Salva Mubarak  July 14th, 2017

It’s that time of the year again, friends. The time when uttering “What kind of a name is Daenerys?” can get you in more trouble than admitting you secretly wish all kittens were dead.

Game of Thrones season 7 is just about to release and soon there will be no escaping. Soon your office will be filled with people casually discussing child murder and incest. When your coworkers insist that winter i coming, and you chime in with your story about loving cold winter afternoons and hot drinks, only to be met with horrified gasps and warnings about the reanimated dead. It will be a confusing time and you will lose friends. But unlike any common citizen of Westeros, all’s not lost for you. Yet.

Jon snow fight

We’ve compiled a guide for you and all the other people who’ve clearly been living in a cave on a deserted island for the past few years. Keep it handy and fool anyone into thinking you are a Game of Thrones fan. You’re welcome.

How to pretend you’re a Game of Thrones fan

Don’t cringe at the mention of incest.

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Same goes with mentions of burning little girls for sacrifice.

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If someone asks you who your favourite character is, don’t waste a second before shouting ‘Tyrion’. But a true connoisseur would say ‘the imp’.

tyrion wine

Don’t act surprised if someone is weeping uncontrollably while holding a door.

hodor

Compare any possibly torturous situation with the ‘Red Wedding’. For example: “That early morning meeting was the worst. But at least it wasn’t as bad as the Red Wedding, amirite?”

red wedding

Stop calling the reanimated dead ‘zombies’. That’s a rookie mistake. Always refer to them as ‘white walkers’, if you want to maintain your cover that is.

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If you see someone getting suspicious, mention how much you hate Joffrey.

joffrey 

If you’re feeling emboldened, you can mention how you always knew ‘R+L=J’ was true. Watch the people around you descend into collective frenzy and relax.

jon snow baby

If you get caught by someone, immediately exclaim that you’re Jon Snow. Because he, usually, knows nothing.

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Or you can do yourself a favour and binge watch the series before the new season drops.