How to get over a break-up, according to science
Still pining over your former beau? Look no further
It’s been weeks, no, months and you still don’t know how to get over a break-up. He was a great love — someone you saw a future with, but now it’s over now and you feel pretty crap. Your poor friends have sat through hours of weeping and if you watch another Karan Johar film, you might pull your eyeballs out. We get it, and have totally been there…multiple times.
Thankfully, clever researchers have published a study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology that proves one method more effective than others for ensuring you can move on from a former partner. The study compared three methods to help the participants fall out of love with their partners and the most effective was… (Drumroll please) To keep reminding yourself of your ex’s negative qualities.
That’s right, going over their bad dad jokes, smelly farts and terrible taste in shoes will actually help you fall out of love with them. Compared against ‘reappraisal of love feelings’ (thinking about your feelings of love towards them) and distraction, negative reappraisal of the ex-partner was found to be the most effective way to help the 24 participants (aged 20-37) to decrease ‘love feelings’.
The study however, which was conducted by participants being shown a picture of their ex-partner after being tasked with one of the three methods, did show that thinking badly about your ex isn’t ideal. Whilst it was the most effective method at making you fall out of love, it did make the participants feel the most unpleasant feelings.
The reppraisal of love feelings group didn’t change how in love they felt, however, similarly didn’t change how unpleasant they felt. The distracted group, however, did not fall out of love, but did feel more pleasant.
The study concluded, “This suggests that in the context of a romantic break-up, negative reappraisal is an effective love down-regulation strategy, whereas distraction is an effective positive emotion up-regulation strategy.”
So, essentially you need decide how dire your situation is. If you need to get over your ex at any cost, then weather the negative feelings and scroll through their Facebook with all the bitchy thoughts you can muster.
However, if feeling better is your priority, then get yourself out there, distraction in the best tool for you my friend.
Celebrities who remained friends despite breaking up
Pop sensation Justin Timberlake dated the Charlie's Angels star for three years after they met at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards in 2003 before splitting in 2006. When the former couple decided to work together in the 2011 romantic comedy Bad Teacher, it drew a lot attention but in an interview with US Weekly, Cameron cleared the air by saying, "No, it's great. Justin and I have always had a good laugh together, and to make a movie where we get to have a laugh together, and there really was no one else who was more perfect.'' The ex-N'sync member is now happily married to actress Jessica Biel while Cameron Diaz married music producer Benji Madden.
Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif became instantly popular as a couple after their first film Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya back in 2005. With their continuous streak of successful films, the duo had a crazy fandom always rooting for them. Eventually, the couple decided to end things in their personal lives and Katrina Kaif moved on with Ranbir Kapoor but they continued to work together professionally and delivered their last superhit film Ek Tha Tiger in 2012 long after their break-up. The much-awaited sequel of this movie, Tiger Zinda Hai, will be released in December this year with its original pair in the lead. Both Salman and Katrina have always displayed mutual respect and love for each other on various occasion and the actress even said it an interview, "I enjoy working with him. It has always been entertaining.''
Farhan Akhtar found love in celebrity hairstylist Adhuna Bhabani and married her in the early 2000s, The couple decided to end their marriage of 16 years after announcing their divorce in October 2016. Adhuna made her debut as a celebrity stylist with Farhan's directorial debut Dil Chahta Hai in 2001 and has continued to work on all his films ever since. The two continue to remain on good terms for their daughters after releasing a joint statement about their divorce, "This is to announce that we, Adhuna and Farhan, have mutually and amicably decided to separate. Our children remain our priority and it is immensely important to us, as responsible parents, that they be protected from unwarranted speculations and public glare," read the joint statement.
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were undoubtedly one of the most loved Hollywood couples, the Batman star met his former wife in 2004 after his separation from Jennifer Lopez and married her a year later. The couple hit the headlines when they announced their separation after 10 years of marriage, with rumours swirling about Ben's involvement with the caretaker of their kids. Jennifer cleared the air in her interview with Vanity Fair “We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce.'' The former couple are often seen together with their 3 kids and continue to maintain a cordial front, when Jennifer appeared on the Today show she revealed, "We're doing really well," she says. "The kids are great. They'll be getting up in the morning and going to school soon, and Ben is there and he'll be taking them. We will make it work."
Chris and Anna met on the sets of their show Take Me Home Tonight and the Jurassic world actor immediately knew she was the 'one'. He later revealed, “I knew I wanted to marry her pretty soon [after I met her,]” he told PEOPLE. “It took a while for me to admit it, because it would be crazy to be like, ‘I want to marry you’ the first day I met her. But I could have!”. The couple started dating after Anna split from her former husband Ben Indra and the two got married in 2009. They welcomed a baby boy three years later. In August this year, the couple announced their separation on Instagram but have extended their continuous support towards each other. "We’ll always have each other and be incredible friends.'' Chris even wrote the foreword for Anna's book, Unqualified.
When Hrithik Roshan entered the movies, he had women of all ages swooning over him but he only had eyes for his then-girlfriend Sussanne Khan, whom he later married in November 2000. The couple hit a rough patch in their marriage and separated two years ago, but both Suzanne and Hrithik who share custody of their two sons only have the best things to say about each other. Recently, when a number of allegations were made about the Krrish star being involved with a leading actress, Suzanne came to her ex-husband's defence and shared her support on Instagram, “There is no allegation or sad plot that can have the weight to triumph over a good soul. #powerofthetruth #mafamilia #goodoverevil.”
Ranbir and Deepika are, by far, the friendliest of exes. The duo even had a commercially successful film, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, after they broke up. After making their debuts in 2007, they began dating while they shooting for their next film Bachna Ae Haseeno. Allegations of cheating haunted their break-up a few years later, but Ranbir has put the rumours to rest saying, ''I have worked with almost every actress in the film industry, but when I work with Deepika, there is a certain sense of respect I have where her work is concerned or her as a person or her journey. There is a sense of admiration and respect but no awkwardness."