It’s been weeks, no, months and you still don’t know how to get over a break-up. He was a great love — someone you saw a future with, but now it’s over now and you feel pretty crap. Your poor friends have sat through hours of weeping and if you watch another Karan Johar film, you might pull your eyeballs out. We get it, and have totally been there…multiple times.
Thankfully, clever researchers have published a study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology that proves one method more effective than others for ensuring you can move on from a former partner. The study compared three methods to help the participants fall out of love with their partners and the most effective was… (Drumroll please) To keep reminding yourself of your ex’s negative qualities.
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That’s right, going over their bad dad jokes, smelly farts and terrible taste in shoes will actually help you fall out of love with them. Compared against ‘reappraisal of love feelings’ (thinking about your feelings of love towards them) and distraction, negative reappraisal of the ex-partner was found to be the most effective way to help the 24 participants (aged 20-37) to decrease ‘love feelings’.
The study however, which was conducted by participants being shown a picture of their ex-partner after being tasked with one of the three methods, did show that thinking badly about your ex isn’t ideal. Whilst it was the most effective method at making you fall out of love, it did make the participants feel the most unpleasant feelings.
The reppraisal of love feelings group didn’t change how in love they felt, however, similarly didn’t change how unpleasant they felt. The distracted group, however, did not fall out of love, but did feel more pleasant.
The study concluded, “This suggests that in the context of a romantic break-up, negative reappraisal is an effective love down-regulation strategy, whereas distraction is an effective positive emotion up-regulation strategy.”
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So, essentially you need decide how dire your situation is. If you need to get over your ex at any cost, then weather the negative feelings and scroll through their Facebook with all the bitchy thoughts you can muster.
However, if feeling better is your priority, then get yourself out there, distraction in the best tool for you my friend.
Celebrities who remained friends despite breaking up
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