Prince Harry is reportedly teaching fiancée Meghan Markle how to operate a stick shift vehicle and if they have a relationship strong enough to withstand driving lessons, they’ll stay married forever and one day rule Olde America.
Harry and Meghan, as you may be aware, are two of the most charming people on the planet, but you honestly couldn’t pay me to sit with them in a car for hours being given the sort of patient instruction that driving requires. Whomst among us wants to learn how to drive from their significant other? That’s the quickest way for a sig. oth. to become an insignificant who was left standing on the other side of the road.
Word comes from across the Atlantic that Harry is providing tutoring on the grounds of Kensington Palace for Meghan, the people’s princess (yes, I know she will actually be a duchess, but I am the people and she is my princess. Meghan Markle is my princess and I have decided not to investigate that thought any further! Thank you.)
The report comes from the Daily Mail, so, you know, take it with a grain of salt big enough to de-ice the driveway at Buckingham Palace. But word on the Baker Street (the only English street I know) is that Meghan has had to undergo intensive security training to prepare to become a royal. This included learning how to drive stick shift for emergency situations and also a two-day simulated kidnapping.
From the Daily Mail:
Miss Markle has taken part in a mock kidnap by SAS troops as part of her preparation for joining the Royal Family. Soldiers used live ammunition and the actress was put through her paces in a series of grueling exercises as part of the two-day course… One former SAS officer told the Sunday Express the course at the SAS HQ in Herefordshire had been ‘devised to frighten the life out of anyone’.
Honey, you thought getting ready for your wedding was intense, with the cake tastings and the constant “helpful suggestions” and having to hand-write hundreds of place cards because you thought it would be “fun” and “cute” (it was neither). You’ve got nothing on the PEOPLE’S PRINCESS who is having a Taken-themed bachelorette party and then has to learn how to Fast and Furious herself in case of an attack. Your premarital counseling could never.
Can you imagine? Not only are you suddenly one of the most well-known and intensely scrutinized people in the world, but you have to learn how to drive a stick shift in case of a Mission: Impossible situation (that’s the technical name). Oh, and also what flowers would you like and please come to a whole bunch of formal occasions with a bunch of rules that have been in place since the Plantagenets!
Also! This Baby Driver Goes British event is happening on the opposite side of the road! That’s probably most concerning to me. Meghan Markle is learning to drive a manual car under extreme circumstances on the left side of the road. Honestly, I would have probably paid someone to kidnap me for two days during wedding planning, but make me drive a stick on the other side of the road? No thanks. How do you say Uber in British?
Meghan Markle, who is handling the pressures of royal life, whilst planning a wedding, slaying fashion, and learning how to disarm Moriarty with a gear shift, is surely up to the task.
That’s what makes her a the people’s princess! The people demand an ambidextrous stunt driver who doesn’t go mad spending hours in a car with their significant other.
From: ELLE US