The Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas wedding: Here’s what needs to happen
*Drops it down to dhol beats*
By now you know that the Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas wedding is happening. But can we be there when someone breaks the news to Nick Jonas that an Indian wedding is a marathon? A non-stop party that lasts three days and three nights and involves choreographed dance numbers.
This is, of course, if you choose to have an intimate function. Which we have decided they will not. No. a marriage isn’t just between two people who love each other. It’s also between two families, two countries and, in this case, two industries.
Nicky Chops will not be depriving us of what could potentially be the best wedding of all time, ever. Think the Grammys meets Salman Khan’s Dabangg tour.
But you know, classier.
Let’s see who will make it from the Hollywood side of the family. There are the Jonas brothers, the two who were in the band plus the bonus Jonas.
All their Disney Channel millennial friends.
Justin. Bieber of course.
Miley Cyrus AKA Hannah Montana. Probably Demi Lovato, Zach Efron and Selena Gomez as well. If you think that covers the millennial front, think again. Bad Girl Riri will also probably be in attendance as well as Nicki Minaj.
This is shaping up to be impressive even for Joe Jonas’ fiancee Sansa Stark.
And she attended the red wedding…
On Priyanka’s side of things, not only can we expect her cousin Parineeti Chopra.
But let’s face it, pretty much every A-list Bollywood celebrity. And a couple of Hollywood ones as well.
Not to mention royalty.
Okay but what does this all mean? Well to an inexperienced wedding attender, nothing. But to anyone who has had to do a tequila shot before forgetting the steps to ‘Kajre re’ while simultaneously nursing a hangover from the night before, the possibilities are endless. And as thoughtful people, we think it’s only right to warn these Hollywood celebrities that this will be the only worthy performance of their career. The Sangeet of PiggyJonas.
Get it, Thor.
Let’s start the evening off with some Girl’s side/Boy’s side performances. We want to see Parineeti Chopra, Meghan Markle, Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif and Karan Johar re-enact anything.
We want to see the Jonas Brothers reunite and do a performance of a song Nick wrote especially for PC.
If Pitbull doesn’t rap half-way through the track, is it even worth it?
Nick Jonas will probably play the dhol at his own wedding.
No, like this:
Good thing Hrithik is there to show him.
Now, we nominate Manish Malhotra to tell Nick Jonas that a tux isn’t going to cut it. Brother is going to need at least three outfits. Just for the sangeet. Let’s not even get started on the baraat and reception.
No. Not enough.
Guests will feast on truffle cheese naans, it’s a thing. Priyanka Chopra will bust out the moves to ‘Desi girl.’
This is live actual footage from the future wedding:
Not really, but you get the idea. We’re just hoping the Jonas’ do too.