Empowering sex positions for the woman who isn't afraid to ask for what she wants Advertisement

Empowering sex positions for the woman who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants

“Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.”

By ELLE team  July 25th, 2018

We’ve said it before and we’re not afraid to say it again: Sex should be fun for everyone involved. If the sex positions you’re used to are predominantly geared towards making your partner feel good but not you, you’re either doing it wrong or the person you’re doing it with is just wrong.

Being confident and feeling safe all contribute to a great sexual experience. Remember, if you’re comfortable, you’re more likely to not have your over-analytical mind get in the way of the experience. Whether your discomfort stems from a partner’s behaviour or from your own insecurities, challenge yourself to work through the obstacle. You’re not playing a supporting role in your own sex life, you’re the lead. So get out of the passenger seat, maybe leave the safety belt and get ready for the ride.

Classic Cowgirl

Let’s start with basics. Yes, if the position finds mention in multiple sitcoms and your parents get it, it’s basic. This position is also known as the Woman On Top which is empowering to say (and nearly as satisfying). But aside from having a nice ring to it, Woman On Top gets the job done, no surprises there.

How it’s done:Your partner lies down on his back and you kneel over him with one leg on either side. You can use your hands to push off his chest and control the penetration.

Why it’s empowering: Aside from the name, the position really does allow the woman to have full control. You control the penetration, the speed and the angle. With you in the dominant position, the power is yours to delay his climax and intensify yours.

The Sexy Spoon

The PG back-to-butt cuddling position gets an adult upgrade. That’s right, this sexy variant will have you feeling empowered and loved.

How it’s done: Lie on your side with your partner behind you, then slowly back yourself onto him. This is great because it also leaves his hands free to stroke you and your hands free to guide him in the process.

Why it’s empowering: Spooning is a great way to feel close and connected to your partner. Both parties are working  together and they both have control over penetration and the angle. Think of it as a sexy team-building exercise, working together to win. Feeling safe and loved is all part of the fun.

The Hovering Butterfly

Ladies, you are all butterflies, don’t let anyone make you feel like a caterpillar. It’s time to spread those wings legs.

How it’s done: Straddle his face using a wall or the bed post for support. This oral twist means you can either sit back and let him do his thing or have him firmly hold his tongue while you gyrate for the desired result.

Why it’s empowering: Too much emphasis is focused on penetration to get women to the finish line, whereas the same doesn’t hold true for men. Let him put in the effort to make sure you have a good time, afterall the experience is for the both of you.

The Suspended Bridge

Anyone who has ever done yoga can already imagine this pose and is probably half way there.

How it’s done: Lie down flat on your back with your arms down on either side. Bend your knees and then lift up from your butt. This will get you into bridge pose. Once you’re in the yoga asana, it’s time to take things tantric. Let your partner place himself between your thighs and lift up your legs so that each calf can rest on either shoulder. That should take the pressure off your glutes and let you enjoy the ride. Not only does it allow for deeper penetration, but it’s also a good mix to the routine.

Why it’s empowering: It’s nice to feel supported, whether it’s emotionally or physically. Women need to stop being put in a place during sex where their flexibility or prowess is valued more than how much they are enjoying themselves. You’re in the pose, it’s now his turn to share the burden and do some of the work to get the job done.

The Lap Dancer

It’s exactly how it sounds and it should fulfill a few fantasies (his and yours) if done correctly.

How it’s done: You can really do this anyway you like, but we suggest starting with a slow strip dance while he’s on the chair. Put on your favourite tracks and make this as slow as possible. Pretend like he’s not there if you want, this is really about you. Take as much time as you like before you make actual contact with him, maybe enforce a rule where he can’t touch you until you say so. When you’re ready, you can lower yourself onto him facing him or not. Again, it’s really what you feel like.

Why it’s empowering: Not only is the whole experience a fantasy, but it’s also an exercise in building self-confidence. Getting comfortable enough with your partner to move freely with them. Getting comfortable enough with your body to appreciate what it can do and watching that appreciation reflect in someone else’s eyes. Not to mention you’re now in control of the pace of foreplay. More power to you, girl.

Literally ANYTHING in front of a mirror

Sex in front of the mirror may sound narcissistic and voyeuristic, and it is. But so what? Drink in your form. Watch yourself enjoying yourself while your partner enjoys you. Get comfortable with how your body looks and even learn to appreciate it.

Why it’s empowering: Women are always taught to be conscious of our naked bodies and ashamed of our sexual desires. It’s time we re-adjust that thought process. Enjoy your naked form in all its imperfect beauty and marvel at what it can do. Watch yourself being turned on and turning someone else on. You’ll be more powerful for it.