Sex habits of highly creative people
Nothing short of of dirty poop and smelly flatulence will satisfy these genius minds
Jean-Jacques Rousseau and hard spanking
The Genevan writer-philosopher famously summed up human suffering with “A man is born free and everywhere else he is in chains”. But this morose observation could only be one that filled him with pleasure, given his deep-rooted love for BDSM. Rousseau discovered his dearest sexual fetish early – at eight, after being spanked (and aroused) by his headmistress for a minor folly. In his autobiography, Confessions, he admits that the incident grew to dictate his bedroom preferences for life – “to obey her orders, to have to beg her pardon, have been for me the sweetest delights.”
Benjamin Franklin and MILFS
One of the founding fathers of the American Constitution was a bit of a non-conformist himself – he had a weakness for “low women”, rumouredly had 15 children out of wedlock and wrote an essay titled Advice To A Young Man On The Choice Of A Mistress as a guide for those who wished to follow in his wanton footsteps, should they not want to tame their “violent natural inclinations” with marriage. The reasons for his pro-MILF stance are neatly organised: 1. They don't care for their appearance; 2. They can’t get pregnant; 3. The vagina ages much later – wrinkles travel from the forehead downwards; 4. “They’re so grateful!”
James Joyce and sexy flatulence
The next time you find yourself struggling to pitch in during a discussion on Ulysses, bravely throw in this fun fact: Joyce loved making his women fart. Not always, just during sex. The poster boy for English Literature who penned some of the greatest novels of all time, also wrote this for his wife Nora: “You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her.” Oh, and he enjoyed a fair bit of facesitting too, so he could “know their smell also”.
Flip through the gallery for more kinky geniuses
Mozart and dirty talk
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s lesser known symphonies are riddled with references to his some of his favourite things – ass and poop. In a charming letter he wrote to a cousin he was crushing on, Mozart added the following verse:
Well, I wish you good night
But first shit into your bed and make it burst.
Sleep soundly, my love
Into your mouth your arse you'll shove.
But wait, there's more (scatological humour features widely in his correspondences and compositions). Here’s another verse with chart-topping potential:
“Lick my ass nicely,
lick it nice and clean,
nice and clean, lick my ass.
That’s a greasy desire,
like the licking of roast meat, my daily activity.”
Ernest Hemingway and kinky role play
The American novelist was involved in a passionate affair with German actress Marlene Dietrich for more than two decades. Unfortunately, the two never moved beyond 20th century first base (naughty letter exchanges), because, in Papa Hemingway's words, they were “victims of unsynchronized passion”. That didn’t stop them from indulging in creative role play, though – in one particular letter, Hemingway imagines two of them performing a bizarre drunken sex act on stage (it involves foaming in the mouth and acting out an abortion scene from a play). But then, sheepishly ends with how their imaginary nookies will never translate into IRL action – because “neither of us has enough whore blood for that”.