As human beings with a working brain, we are divided on almost all major issues. To be fair, with over 7 billion people inhabiting the planet, this is bound to happen. History has been witness to disputes over land, religion, race and gender. These conflicts might differ depending on factors like age or your location, but there are some issues that surpass time and space and are universally divisive. Nations have gone to war over these issues. Laws have been made and broken. Brothers have broken ties and friends have turned to enemies over them. They even managed to turn our usually subdued office into a battleground that put the Spartans and Persians to shame.
Behold, some of the most catastrophic conflicts that are tearing our world apart:
Pineapple on pizza: Yay or Nay?
Little did Canadian chef Sam Panopoulous knew when he decided to create a ‘Hawaiian Pizza’, a regular pizza with pineapple as a topping, that it would go on to become an issue for the decades. The internet dealt with the conflict the way it deals with basically anything — memes. Pineapple pizza-hating memes started cropping up in late 2009 and brought the universal issue of ‘pineapple on pizza’ (POP) out in the open.
POP enthusiast claim that you can enjoy a sweet and savoury taste at the same time and also use pineapple’s healthy benefits to reduce guilt over eating pizza. In case you needed any more convincing that this is the issue that could lead us to an inevitable third world war, it is now creating political conflict too. The president of Iceland declared his allegiance to the POP haters cause and said that if it was within his powers, he would pass a law that banned pineapples as a topping once and for all. This obviously caused a massive stir with tweeters from both the camp bringing out their well thought-out arguments.
@marsmagd because its delish and people who says otherwise are morons #troll #pineappleonPizza #PPAP
— Ammar Nazeri (@NazeriAmmar) February 22, 2017
People who put #pineappleonPizza volunteer as tribute to build Trump’s wall. https://t.co/9LjtYVX5rz
— Bougie Black Girl (@BougieBlackGurl) February 22, 2017
Which Doctor is the best Doctor?
Even though classic British TV show Doctor Who started in 1963, it’s almost as popular today as it was then. The show ended in 1969, but was revived after a gap of 16 years in 2005. The show follows the adventures of a 2000-year-old alien who saves the earth from other aliens, while traveling through time and space.
The longevity of the show is mostly aided by the fact that the titular Doctor gets ‘regenerated’ every few cycles. In real world terms, it means that the show makers brought on different actors to play the Doctor throughout the series. This allowed them the opportunity to give the Doctor different characteristics every regeneration too.
The debate over the best Doctor started after the revival in 2005, with the Ninth Doctor, played by Christopher Eccleston, who was followed by David Tennant and Matt Smith, who played the Tenth and the Eleventh doctor respectively. While the tenth and eleventh Doctors are in the forefront of any and every debate, there’s a small but strong camp that supports the theory that Eccleston, whose Doctor is the sassiest in all his thirteen regenerations so far, is the best one. Fans insist that if he had stayed on longer, he would be the clear winner of the ‘Best Doctor’ title.
The main conflict lies between the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors. The Tenth Doctor was a romantic whose love story with companion Rose was a foil to showcase his strengths as a vulnerable yet strong fighter. He was so popular with fans that after his inevitable regeneration into the Eleventh Doctor, fans didn’t accept Matt Smith into the role until much later. But as Eleventh’s popularity grew, it threatened to displace Tenth as the unanimous ‘Best Doctor of all time’, and so the conflict started up all over again.
Blue and black or white and gold?
Whatever your religious views, you will agree that the world was forever changed after February 2015, the day that will go down in history as #Dressgate. When a picture of a seemingly innocuous dress surfaced online, it quickly set fire to the internet by making people doubt their ability to differentiate between colours and question their own sanity. Some people claimed the dress was white and gold, while some argued that it was, in fact, blue and black.
The conflict spread across the world and even left Taylor Swift ‘confused and scared’ (she was in the ‘blue and black’ camp). It even came between Kim K and Kanye West, when Kim declared the dress to be white and gold and Kanye saw it as blue and black. It also disturbed Hrithik Roshan so much that he couldn’t formulate any thought until about three months after the debate started and got mercilessly trolled when he tweeted this:
White and gold ? Or blue and black? Ask around. pic.twitter.com/qBLMNDVHh7
— Hrithik Roshan (@iHrithik) May 21, 2015
Aside from the conflict, it gave birth to several memes, as is the way of the internet, and birthed several open letters that questioned everything from our morality to the fact that the Government is using the Dress as a way to distract us from issues like the existence of aliens.
Do we really need elaichi in food?
This one conflict has the power to ruin a plate of biryani for you. And that is something we take very, very seriously.
The conflict has Quora threads and blog posts dedicated to people dissecting the importance of actually having elaichi added to your food. The core of the conflict lies in the fact that people deem the usage of a whole cardamom, to infuse flavor, unnecessary. This causes the above mentioned biryani ruination and general unhappiness. The opposing camp suggests that haters can just pick the offending item out from their plate. There is no known resolution to this conflict.
Is La La Land overrated?
Our world currently comprises of two kinds of people: People who love La La Land and people who have a hollow cavity where their heart is supposed to be. The musical that accomplished the impossible — making Ryan Gosling even more desirable than he already was — has induced polarizing opinions in whoever has watched it. While fans claim that the movie made them believe in love again (Ryan Gosling dancing and singing will do that for you), haters deem the movie to be campy and overrated. The fact that it was everywhere you turned didn’t help matters. The debate reached its peak when La La Land received record nominations at the Oscars and to this date, many relationships have dissolved because of differing opinions on the movie.
Gosling or Reynolds: Which Ryan is the best Ryan?
On the surface of it, it’s difficult to find any difference between the two Ryans. They’re both ludicrously good-looking, are married to beautiful actresses and have two adorable baby girls each. But lives have been irrevocably changed in the quest to find the ‘Best Ryan in the land’.
The people who are deeply entrenched in this fight outwardly appear to be completely normal. Look at the girl sitting next to you on the train. Or the guy who just held the elevator door open as you raced towards it. You might not be able to tell, but they’re embroiled in a heated debate over the merits of their favourite Ryan.
There are some who still believe that Gosling and Reynolds are the same people, a fact that Reynolds discredited with this tweet:
Different hair colors. Ryan Gosling has light BLOND hair. And Ryan Reynolds is a cunt. https://t.co/L7BZnh1cGD
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 25, 2015
Ryan Gosling makes people think that he is too perfect to be true, and perhaps a little too serious. On the other hand, aside from the hideous face scarring and ability to regenerate, Ryan Reynolds can easily be mistaken for his ‘Merc with a Mouth’ Deadpool. He is funny, self-deprecating and gives the Ryan name that edge that the other Ryan lacks.
Which side are you on?
