Zayn obsessing over K3G proves he’s every desi kid ever

Since the release of our February cover, the internet has been buzzing about Zayn and his love of Bollywood. And how Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is his favourite Bollywood movie of all time, “Probably just because it is the film that I watched the most as a child.”

Same2Same, Zayn, mother swear.

To be honest, most of our childhood memories were just aerial shots of the Raichand family estate, calling ourselves PHAT (pretty, hot and tempting, duh) and calling chubby kids ‘laddoo’. It’s weird to think that Zayn had the same childhood experiences as us and we wonder if his were as frequently interrupted by advertisements for masala.

We doubt it, because he’s already gone on record to say that his mom makes the best Indian food, we assume this means that Mama Malik’s biryani doesn’t include whole elaichis. But can you just image a 9-year-old Zayn watching a subtitled K3G, over and over again?

What must have gone through his adolescent mind? If not properly immune to the trickery of Bollywood movies, they can be confusing for new viewers. Like — where are the pyramids in Chandi Chowk? There are none, that was a 7-minute dream sequence in Egypt.  Look sharp.

Do you think he had a crush on Kareena Kapoor? It’s safe to assume he did. She was an ‘It’ girl. He’s currently dating at ‘It’ girl. He clearly has Poo, issues (no, not that kind). To be honest, we all do. No one really ever got over Kareena Kapoor as Poo.  She will always be Zayn’s one true ‘soniya’.

At what age do you think Zayn found out Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol weren’t an item in real life? Do you think this was as devastating for him as it was for most kids? His therapist must never hear the end of it.

Maybe Zayn was a chubby kid and was motivated into fitness by Hrithik Roshan’s transformation. How do you think he likes his Maggi: soupy or dry? Zayn says that the toss-up for his favourite Bollywood film is either that or Devdas, and his favourite track is ‘Chhaiya chhaiya’. Yes, you and Zayn are practically the same person. As are Hrithik and laddoo.

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