An Unfiltered, Somewhat Graphic, Review Of Getting A Brazilian Wax For The First Time

I’ll try anything once – a preface that has remained constant to all my stupid decisions. Some adventures bear sweeter fruits, and others leave a sour taste in my mouth. Yet, I will take rafting trips in icy-cold rivers in the middle of December or get my eyebrow tattooed. The constant craving for newer experiences takes me from one extreme to the next. This is why, when I realised that I had missed out on an integral experience that most women go through at least once in their lives – the Brazilian wax – I knew where my next adrenaline fix will come from. Personally, I am not a big fan of a bald vag. There’s absolutely no need for you to take a metaphorical garden hoe to your lady bits. Any grooming around your pubic regions is purely cosmetic; a simple blend of soap and water is enough to keep even a full bush clean and fresh!

The Brazilian wax in the original context demands leaving some hair behind. A landing strip or a triangular shape above the pubic bone. But, you can go all the way and remove every last bit of pubes you are blessed with. I opted for the full-frontal clean-up, and here’s how it went. Caution, it can get a little graphic ahead!

Before we dive into the pain, let’s touch upon the best-kept secret of a Brazilian wax appointment – The Frog Asana. To get the cleanest hair removal, estheticians need access to the most hidden and concealed parts of your vag and backdoor. To make this possible, you spread your legs like a frog hanging from a tree. So, if you have been skimping on your morning stretches, this can get quite uncomfortable after five to ten minutes.

ELLE Tip: Make sure to do some thigh stretches before your appointment! Also, you will have to leave your body-shyness at the door because the esthetician will be privy to your deepest and darkest secrets. And if being in such a vulnerable posture makes you break into a crimson sweat, it’s best to avoid it until you are ready to bear it all.

Let’s talk about the pain…simply put, getting a Brazilian for the first time HURTS! No matter your pain tolerance level, the sensation of ripping your pubes off is a shocking sensation. This is especially true for waxing strips; peel-off hard wax is comparatively gentler on the skin. This is because the chances of causing micro-tears in the skin are more with wax strips. So make sure you opt for the peel-off wax when asked. Having said that, once that peel-off wax strip came off, I wished for sweet death. But fret not, the entire service won’t be a pain fest, some areas of your pubic region are more sensitive than the rest. On a scale of 1-5, here’s what you can expect –
1. Area above the pubic bone – 3/5
2. The bikini line – 4/5
3. The bum – 2/5
4. The pubic bone and clit mound – 5/5 (K.O.!)

ELLE Tip: For your first time, ask the esthetician to take it slow after each rip. An experienced tech will know to put pressure on the area after each rip, check for any bruising and then move forward. But as a first-timer, you may not know how your skin will react to it. A typical Brazilian waxing appointment takes anywhere between 30-40 minutes. But as a beginner, do not be in hurry to get it over with. Keep talking to the expert to understand how your skin is faring down there.

We’ve settled that losing your Brazilian virginity can be painful. But, there are measures you can take to limit the baggage that comes with being a Brazilian beginner; from my angel esthetician to you – 

1. Make sure the growth is at least ¼ inch before the appointment. Do not fret about the growth being too long; the aesthetician will trim it to the ideal length before the service. But too short a hair length will just have to be waited out as shorter lengths won’t give you a close wax.

2. If you have been shaving or DIYing at-home waxing, peel-off hard wax will still be painful. So stay off the razor for 15-20 days before going for an appointment. This extends to exposing your skin to pool water or the sun – as chlorine damage or a superficial tan can make the waxing experience hurt more.

3. Take an OTC painkiller 30 minutes before the appointment. It will lessen the discomfort and curb any inflammation that might occur from the service. Having said that, do not equate a painkiller with alcohol to ‘numb the pain’. Alcohol makes your blood thinner and makes the area more prone to sensitivity and bruising. 

4. Do not ask for a numbing cream for the area and deny the use of one if the salon offers it. While numbing creams can make a painless tattooing experience, they can cause serious contact dermatitis in the bikini area. 

5. Wear loose, cotton clothing to and from your appointment. Avoid wetting the area for at least two hours and avoid taking a hot bath for at least 24 hours. Make sure to moisturise the area with unscented, pH balanced organic coconut oil to lightly moisturise the area. Avoid products with alcohol or artificial fragrances to protect yourself from nasty irritation. 

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