The time to shine the spotlight on solo pleasure has truly come. Whether we’re using the classic vibrator, a pulsating one or even a butt plug— we’re learning to prioritise our pleasure. Take it from someone whose drawers are overflowing with sex toys. Toy story but make it strictly R-rated. However, partnered sexual activities are where one can push the boundaries to explore more. In previous dynamics, I struggled with convincing my otherwise ‘sex positive’ partners to introduce sex toys in the bedroom.
Most of the time, sex toys can perform feats that our body parts cannot. We are talking about vibrations and pulses that lead to an intense orgasm. Bringing these into passionate partnered sex can reintroduce the spark or even take it to the next level. It opens up possibilities to explore newer techniques, positions and feelings for those involved in the act. A common misconception that floats around is that sex toys introduced in partnered sex can pose a threat to either one of the partners. There’s no denying that introducing this conversation could feel a little awkward or even intimidating, even if you’re in a long-term relationship. Here’s all you need to know to overcome apprehensions, if any.
Guide to introducing sex toys with a partner
Communication is Key
A topic like this calls for an open conversation between partners considering that not everyone may be comfortable with the idea. Since this could be a sensitive chat between partners, it’s important to remember that conversations should occur without any criticisms that could target your partner’s existing insecurities.
Go Toy Shopping Together
This opens up you and your partner to discuss parts of your sex life you wouldn’t otherwise. It could also let you know about what your partner enjoys doing in bed if you haven’t discovered it already. For instance, your partner might be interested in pegging and would suggest going for a strap-on.
Carefully Introduce The Toy
Any kind of sexual activity is meant to be healthy and enjoyable for those involved. Even though you may have had a conversation about introducing sex toys, the introduction can’t be a random inclusion during sex. Once you’ve engaged in outercourse and built up on the anticipation, you can introduce a sex toy in the midst to play around with your orgasms and have fun with some edging. Sex toys need not be a part of what you’re doing right from the very beginning, it’s completely alright to bring them in when you’re closer to climax too.
Reassurance Is Key
Introducing sex toys into your dynamic doesn’t equate to any partner being inadequate in their sexual performance, but on some days, insecurities can creep in. Reassuring your partner can go a long way. Reminding your partner that sex toys are meant to ‘add’ passion and excitement and do not ‘replace’ the bond and comfort you share with them.
Engage In Mutual Masturbation
If using a sex toy on your partner is something that daunts you, mutual masturbation with toys is a great stepping stone. Not only it’s an activity that lets partners explore pleasure together in their own comfort zone but it can also help you orgasm together, something that is always a good idea.
What Kind Of Sex Toys Can You Introduce?
Vibrators
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Now, this is a classic option you can never get tired of. With so many options out there ranging from wands to bunnies and pulsating ones—there’s so much you can explore with all of these.
Strap-Ons
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If your partner is emotionally and physically comfortable with you initiating pegging, then introducing a strap-on into the mix is an exciting idea. Role-reversal shifts power dynamics making the scenario a tad bit more passionate.
Remote Controlled
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Remote-controlled sex toys are always a favourite when it comes to partnered sex. Giving your partner control over your orgasm can be extremely pleasurable.
Rings
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A toy that doesn’t get talked about enough is penis rings. These are absolutely great for prolonging an erection and providing further stimulation. Introducing these helps in taking the pressure off you!
