My favourite thing to do apart from attending concerts, is discussing pleasure, especially female pleasure. For the longest time, we’ve viewed pleasure as a negative emotion or as a feeling that catered to the male gaze. But pleasure is a beautiful feeling that deserves to be celebrated and sometimes even glorified, more specifically female pleasure. It’s no secret that male pleasure has always been prioritised over female pleasure—how many times have we faked an orgasm to appease a man? According to a study, over 58% of women fake an orgasm when they’re having sex.
Of course, this can be attributed to several issues ranging from performance anxiety, taboos around female pleasure and a lot of the times, even a lack of communication. When we speak of faking an orgasm, we must also spark a conversation about how many women can *actually* orgasm. A study published by the Archives of Sexual Behaviour revealed that only 65% of women orgasm when they have sex or perform a sexual activity whereas a whopping 95% of men orgasm when they do the same. Not a shocker there. With the female orgasm, everyone’s aware of the importance clitoral stimulation holds in helping women achieve intense pleasure. However, there are a lot of other techniques that hit the accelerate button on pleasure and focus on women.
Shallowing
While the clitoris may be a massive source point of female pleasure for most women, well so is the vagina! Over 90% of the vagina’s nerve openings are at its opening and that’s why shallowing, as a sexual technique can hit a sweet spot for many. This is a penetration technique that uses fingers, your tongue, sex toys or a penis to stimulate the entrance of the vagina. By fueling feelings of anticipation, shallowing increases the levels of desire. The idea is to ensure that nothing penetrates your vagina completely but instead just teases the entrance, stimulating you more.
Angling
Angling is a technique that can only be used in partnered sex and often leads to better orgasms because of its positioning. As the name suggests, this technique involves lifting and rotating the pelvis so that the penis can hit specific spots with its angling. The hips can be rotated to raise or adjust them by adding pillows under them so that your body is supported. Angling ensures that the orgasms one experiences are mindblowing because due to the pelvic muscles being angled in a certain way, the contractions are way more intense.
Pairing
Two is always better than one and this technique proves it! Some of us derive pleasure from double stimulation—with the clitoris and the vagina both. These spots have numerous nerve endings which when stimulated can result in great orgasms. It’s a proven fact that for a certain percentage of women, clitoral orgasms are a necessity to orgasm. Pairing is a technique that incorporates clitoral stimulation and penetration together to elevate feelings of pleasure. This can be done by using a suction-based vibrator on your clitoris while being penetrated or it can be done with the combination of spooning and sleeping doggy.
Rocking
An underrated technique, rocking involves extremely deep and slow penetration as opposed to quick and rough penetration. Rocking allows women to control their speed and movements while ensuring that the penis remains deep inside. Using hips to rock back and forth and staying away from thrusting doesn’t disrupt stimulation allowing one to feel pleasure in constancy.
Edging
Everybody knows edging and everybody loves edging. An extremely popular technique, edging is when one brings themselves close to climax and immediately stops, repeating the whole process over and over again. Bringing yourself to the brink of an orgasm repeatedly builds the intensity of pleasure you are experiencing, leading to a toe-curling orgasm, quite literally.
As much as we love orgasms, it’s crucial to understand that the goal of any sexual activity isn’t always to climax. It’s to explore your body and understand your partner’s desires. So incorporate these techniques, but don’t focus your entire performance on trying to orgasm.
