Alright, buckle up. I have to talk about something important! The other day, I was doom-scrolling and trying to fall asleep (usually, I read myself to sleep, but this was a different night). And I came across a reel where this little one was talking about ‘vintage’ trends. She brought up the zig-zag hairband which she found in her mom’s vanity and totally loved the look of. Just out of sheer trauma, the tips of my ears and head started hurting as I saw this entire video. I sat up and then went down a rabbit hole of tattoo chokers, zig-zag bands and frosty lids. These trends are actually coming back, and my acid reflux knows no bounds. I have been there, done that and done it again and just like low-rise jeans, there are some trends I am afraid of if they come back.
So take a wild ride down memory lane with me as I revisit some of the cringiest beauty trends that should stay in the past, locked away in a vault labelled “NOPE.” Call this my personal beauty roast!
Let’s kick things off with frosted tips. Ah, yes, the glorious era when it seemed like every dude wanted hair that glowed like a snow cone under a blacklight. But let’s face it: unless you’re auditioning for a role in a boy band, frosted tips cannot possibly make a comeback. I do not see any scenario where frosted tips would work well. Say it with me now: “Let it go, let it go!” We’re aiming for hairstyles that scream “cool”, not “I accidentally dipped my head in a bucket of icing.”
Next up is the over-plucked brow disaster. Remember when the brows were so thin that they looked like they were trying to escape our faces? Yeah, those were dark times, my friends. Let’s leave behind the era of perpetual surprise expressions and embrace brows that are bold, beautiful, and unapologetically bushy. Because who needs a magnifying glass to find their eyebrows; am I right?
Oh, and let’s not forget about foundation shades that left us looking like we just got back from a week-long vacation in the sun. No, thank you! We’ve bid farewell to the days of orange-tinted skin and are now on a mission to find the perfect foundation shade that actually matches our complexion. Here’s to looking like ourselves, only better, without the risk of blinding innocent bystanders.
Honestly, we LIVED back then (yes, I am sounding like an older person, but I am!). We made our mistakes. I know I go back and cringe at my wannabe goth photos where I have sacrificed kilos of kohl to look like I slept in with makeup. Or cringe at my tomato-red bangs. But being the person who has tried these ‘vintage’ trends, I don’t want other people to go through the same issues. Here’s hoping your beauty journey involves more glow-ups and fewer “what were we thinking?!” moments.
