Turns Out, Summer Dating Isn’t Always That Hot

This was my first single summer in two years. I genuinely thought I was ready. I had my playlist titled Hot Girl Summer But Sad, dating apps freshly downloaded, and an entire plan to lean into a flirty, free-spirited season. In reality, it felt less like a rom-com and more like an oddly exhausting emotional scavenger hunt.

Summer Flings? Not Quite

Coming out of a long-term relationship, I assumed dating again would be slightly awkward. What I didn’t expect was just how foggy the whole thing would feel. Was I having fun? Was I wasting time? Were these people interested, or just a bit bored between beach holidays?

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It turns out I wasn’t alone in this limbo. A recent survey by happn, the real-life dating app, asked Indian singles about their summer dating patterns. Nearly half of them said their approach to dating stayed steady across seasons. But 27% admitted they preferred to keep things light in the summer, and 22% said they didn’t plan to date, less it just kind of happened. Suddenly, my situationship confusion had context.

The Vibe Shift Is Real

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One of the most striking findings? While 80% of women said they stay consistent in their dating habits year-round, only 49% of men said the same. Nearly a quarter of men admitted to dating less in the summer without meaning to. Combine that with last-minute cancelled plans and lukewarm conversations, and it explains why so much of dating lately has felt like trying to vibe with someone who’s half checked out.
The biggest frustration across the board was clear: finding someone who actually wants something meaningful. That was the top concern for 42% of people surveyed and 55% of women. Honestly, that number feels low.

Benching Season

If ghosting is abrupt, benching is slow and confusing. You’re not being ignored, but you're not being asked out either. You get the odd reaction to your Story or a vague reply to a meme, but plans? Nowhere to be seen. 32% of singles said they’d been benched this summer, and 22% admitted to doing the benching themselves.

happn’s CEO and President, Karima Ben Abdelmalek, says: “Benching, one of the modern dating behaviours, is a reflection of the complexities of how singles interact. While there is a desire for authentic connections, commitment seems to be lacking, especially during the fun summer months. We know that this period might not be the easiest one for Singles as they confess that this season might be frustrating. At happn, we’re following the evolution of modern dating, and our focus remains on creating a platform that fosters genuine connections, where users enjoy the freedom to make meaningful choices.” 

Interestingly, women were twice as likely as men to admit they’d done it. I can relate. After my breakup, I found myself talking to people I wasn’t quite ready to commit to, not because I wanted to string anyone along, but because I was still figuring things out. Summer makes it easy to sit in that grey area without making any big decisions.

So, What Did I Learn?

Mostly that dating after a breakup is rarely straightforward. Some days, I wanted to be asked deep, curious questions by someone genuinely interested in who I am now. Other days, I wanted to be completely left alone to eat mangoes and re-watch Made in Heaven.

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I’ve realised it’s okay to want both. Wanting a connection doesn’t mean I have to be available all the time. And needing space doesn’t mean I’ve failed the soft girl rebrand. So while this summer didn’t end in some sweeping romance, it did bring clarity. I’m not here to chase anyone. I’m not available for half-interested energy. And I’ve learnt that meaningful connection won’t ask you to guess, it’ll show up with intention.

Here’s to seeing what the next season brings.