It’s 7am, you’ve silenced your alarm about a dozen times but now you wake up. You leave your house, take that walk that’s supposed to release endorphins (it does) and you do it for your mental health. You’ve indulged in some self love. You eat a delicious meal with veggies and skip that glass of wine. You’ve shown yourself self love. You put your phone away, read a book and then drift into restful sleep, getting a full 7 hours of shut eye. Yes, that’s self love too. You put these things up on your Insta stories and the heart emojis and clap emojis fill up your inbox. What you don’t do is marry yourself.
Because surely, self love doesn’t require sologamy or self marriage. You will be surprised. Recently, TV actor Kanishka Soni married herself. In an Instagram post, where she posed with sindoor and mangalsutra, she declared that she was the one who fulfilled all her dreams on her own and and that the only person she is in love with is herself. Erm, not sure who Kanishka is speaking to, but I know plenty of women who are earning their own money, working on their dreams and in love with themselves but none of them have decided to flippantly throw on sindoor and a mangalsutra and declare that they are now in a self marriage. In June this year, Kshama Bindu from Gujarat also married herself. Kshama’s was not a simple Instagram declaration, oh the horror of downplaying self marriage like that, she truly played the part of the bride, wearing a lehenga (in red of course), applying mehendi and taking pheras around a fire. Kshama had earlier managed to get an unsuspecting priest for the rituals but he backed off when the news broke and caused quite a stir. Kshama’s “wedding” happened three days earlier than scheduled because of the uproar about her upcoming nuptials (can it be called that?) had the venue cancelled, the priest fleeing and the entire concept threatening to fail. Kshama’s mother did not attend this “wedding” of her daughter though news reports state that she did give her blessings. Phew! Don’t want a wedding involving yourself getting derailed because the mom plays spoilsport.
These people had their follower count go up and their likes climb significantly over the course of the wedding days and thereafter. Just saying, if publicity is what they were after, they got it.
Just in case you were invested, sologamy isn’t legal in India. Though living with yourself is perfectly acceptable and normal. I imagine as long as you don’t go around peddling the concept of self marriage to neighbours and sundry, most people will leave you alone.
Do You Really Need To Be In A Self Marriage?
While I am all for showing yourself some love, finding time to unwind even indulging in cliches like lighting up a candle and lowering your weary body into a warm bath, I draw the line at self marriage. You can love yourself all you want without climbing poles and shouting about it from the rooftops. At this point, self marriage is garnering headlines and putting unknown people in the news. For some, this could be their one shot at going viral. For others, it could save a flailing career, putting you back in the news. You’re back in people’s minds and maybe that could bag you a role? You never know.
Perhaps what is most irksome is that now people will be encouraged to seek the validation of rank strangers for an act that is perhaps acceptable every where any way. You’re allowed to love yourself, in fact, it’s actively encouraged now. You, at any weight, any size, in your skin deserves to be loved and accepted. The concept of self love is amazing and inclusive. The concept of self marriage is gimmick-y and aims to thrust the person doing it into the headlines and does not much else. Unless you grab your vibrator in the middle of a mall and decide to self love right there and then, society in general is okay with you accepting and loving yourself. Just, don’t pop on to our feeds trying to suggest that self marriage is the only way to make your love for yourself, legal. Pbbfft.
