I was today years old when I found out that the inventor of the vibrator may have been none other than the queen of Egypt, Cleopatra. Legend has it that she ordered her servants to fill up a hollow gourd with bees to stimulate her genitals with the rhythmic buzzing. While this rumour is probably fake, it points to a larger truth that female pleasure needs to be a priority.
A wider known origin of the vibrator dates back to the 19th century when it was supposedly invented as a medical instrument to cure ‘hysteria’ in women. The symptoms of this condition included anxiety, irritability and abdominal heaviness— the cause of which was blamed on the one lady part that men think makes us crazy— the uterus. In reality, it was just sexual frustration. Basically, the vibrator was made for the convenience of the doctors who got tired of bringing female patients to orgasm using their fingers.
Over the years, vibrators have been sold in discreet packaging as household appliances, body and neck massagers and even dark circle removers. And though this still remains true to date in our country, there’s no denying that the conversation around destigmatising female masturbation has begun. The path to killing the taboo, however, has its obstacles with getting an entire nation to unlearn the shame surrounding female pleasure. Durex’s Global Sex Survey 2017 indicated that nearly 70% of Indian women do not have an orgasm every time they have sex. Along with penetration, a lot of women need consistent stimulation on their clitoris to be able to climax, something that is usually overlooked, often because men are still in search of this mythical part of the female body. So, ladies, let me convince you to take the reins of pleasure into your own hands and get yourself a real-life magic wand, also known as a vibrator, here’s why:
Expand Your Pleasure Horizons
Whether it’s putting our needs first or giving in to indulgences, the social stigma around female desire often leads to a feeling of guilt associated with self-pleasure. Here’s a reminder that you’re allowed to enjoy things that feel good and focus on your own pleasure, without worrying about what others need and want. It can be a liberating experience for many. Using a vibrator can help you find out what you like, and what your sensitive areas are. It can help you discover your sexual fantasies and combat sexual anxiety without worrying about judgement from your partner. Understanding your pleasure can also make conversations with your partner easier about what you enjoy in the bedroom for a more enriched and satisfying sexual experience.
Consistent vibrations can make your body more sensitive and reactive, leading to more intense orgasms. Using a vibrator can also act as a sexual accelerator that can not only help you if you struggle with climaxing but can also lead to multiple orgasms on a daily basis.
Don’t forget to have an orgasm today.
Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.
— Jess (@shuggilippo) July 31, 2021
Happy Hormones
According to a study on sex and sleep, an orgasm before bed can help you sleep better. They found that over half of the participants reported improved sleep quality post-masturbation. And using a vibrator is a quick and easy way to give you that helpful orgasm. Having an orgasm releases oxytocin, which can help reduce stress and increase feelings of calmness and contentment. It’s also great to relieve yourself of period pain. Research shows that the pain reduction system in the brain is activated during arousal. A study conducted by sex toy brand Womanizer found that 70% of women said that masturbation relieved the intensity of the pain, and 90% said that they would recommend masturbation to combat period pains to a friend.
Boosts Your Sex Life
Your vibrator can’t replace your partner— there’s no machine invented that can replicate the affectionate touch of a lover. What a vibrator can do though is spice things up to a whole new level. According to a 2015 internet-based survey published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, which received responses from over 1,000 U.S. women, 18 per cent reported that they could orgasm during penetrative sex while the number jumped to 36 per cent when clitoral stimulation was involved during intercourse. Using a vibrator with your partner can help bridge the orgasm gap and let you both enjoy each other’s pleasure. It can also increase lubrication and desire, and thereby your sex drive too!
Convinced to make a purchase? Aastha Vohra, co-founder & CEO of Manzuri spills the tea on everything you need to know beforehand:
ELLE: What to keep in mind when buying your first vibrator? What features should one look for?
Aastha Vohra (AV): The first and easiest thing to start with is what you already know and like. Ask yourself, what kind of stimulation would I prefer, vaginal, clitoral or (bonus) both. This will help you narrow down your options based on the features a particular vibrator provides. Do you prefer clitoral stimulation or vaginal? Would you like a battery-operated vibrator or a USB one? These are the questions to ask yourself. Too daunting? Okay, we can go about this another way. Start with fixing a budget. Then follow the same line of thought (above). You can also keep an eye out for features like whether a vibrator is waterproof, the number of vibration settings it has to offer and if it’s very loud. The latter is especially important if you’re living in a typical Indian joint family!
A good beginner tip is to always start with the mildest setting and work your way to the top. Set the mood and take your time to explore your body, just like you would during any other sexual activity. Don’t get lazy with the cleaning and maintenance of your vibrator. Good maintenance ensures a longer life for your vibrator and more orgasms for you!
ELLE: What are the different types available? Which materials are best?
AV: There are many options available out there, from bullets and wands to rabbits and eggs. Then there are a lot of the ones that don’t fit any box such as clitoral, suction and also temperature play which are quickly gaining popularity. Wireless and app-controlled vibrators also deserve a mention here. Food-grade medical silicone is considered to be safe to use for all bodies and body types. It’s the same material that is used in the making of products for babies so it’s completely hypoallergenic. Manzuri’s products are only made of food-grade silicone and they go through a rigorous testing process. Apart from this, if you venture further into the world of sex toys, you will run into toys that are made of stainless steel, borosilicate glass and lucite. The materials that you should definitely avoid are jelly, rubber, PVC and vinyl.
ELLE: Would you recommend using lube or a condom with it?
AV: Absolutely. Lube is never a bad idea for really any kind of sexual activity. I especially recommend it if you’re using a sex toy for penetration. This cannot be said enough times, the more the merrier! Water-based lube is recommended as silicone-based lube used with silicone toys can cause tears (and risk infections). Condoms are also a good idea for sex toys especially if you share them with a partner since it makes it prone to STIs.
ELLE: What is the proper way to sanitize and clean your vibrator?
AV: Cleaning a vibrator is pretty simple, all you need is soap, water and a damp piece of cloth! Or a soap solution works perfectly as well. If your vibrator is not waterproof, make sure to not get water near the power socket or power source. You can also use a wet wipe. Click here to read more about the cleaning and storing process in detail!
Also read about Women And Self Pleasure: It’s Time We Talked About Women And Self Love
