Modern dating is a lot like volunteering as tribute in the Hunger Games. You have to learn how to navigate the terrain of the apps, compose a flawless opening statement, make a Katniss-esq ‘girl on fire’ impression on the first date and finally, mentally prepare yourself to be breadcrumbed, benched, orbited, pocketed, ghosted and zombie-ed as you await your fate. Phew, It’s a minefield out there.
Among the mutts, however, we see a silver silk parachute floating into the arena with a gift from the sponsors— and it comes with a reminder to #BeReal. Enter Goblin-timacy.
I’m Sorry, Goblin What?
Before we get into this new dating term, let’s rewind back to its origins— the glorious goblin mode. A crumb-covered answer to the seemingly perfect-looking life of ‘that girl’, goblin mode became the Oxford Dictionary’s word of the year for 2022. A rejection of the Instagrammable life, social norms and expectations— it encourages you to embrace your inner slob. Basically, when in goblin mode, you just let yourself be. And if staying in bed all day, binge-watching trash reality TV while also mindlessly scrolling through your phone and eating copious amounts of junk food is what you want to do, then so be it.
In The Dating World
Inspired by the unapologetically self-indulgent behaviour of the goblin mode, the dating app Badoo predicts goblin-timacy will seep into the dating world this year. “The trend is all about authenticity, as four in five daters (82%) feel it’s more important to make an impression as their true selves than put on an act to impress, while three quarters (76%) say they feel more comfortable than ever dating on their own terms and not succumbing to societal expectation. The dating world is tired of filters, we want raw and uncut – it’s the new sexy!” the report states.
In the spirit of dropping the facade, Bumble has also coined the new term ‘Authenti-date’ which encourages you to find meaningful connections by showing up as your truest self. “Authenti-date is about showing the real you to the world so that others get to know and like you for who you are! We want to empower people to do what’s right for them, and date on their own terms and pace”, shared Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director, Bumble.
Striving For Realness In A Digital Age
Goblin-timacy, a shiny new name for something so obvious as being yourself speaks of a concern much larger than modern dating trends. We live in an age so engulfed in Instagram filters and fabricated social media lives that we need reminders to be real and ‘goblin modes’ to be able to accept our imperfections. It’s ironic how the more technologically advanced we get, the more we strive for something more real.
At the end of the day, it’s all about balance— in healthy amounts, merging the goblin mindset with dating life doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. For some, it could manifest as giving up the need to mould themselves to please other people, for others it could be about feeling more confident in their own skin. Finding the right connection for you shouldn’t have to feel like a game of cat and mouse (through the modern dating lexicon may give that impression) where you have to pretend to be someone you’re not. If you’re a goblin, be a goblin.
