‘You’ve lost weight!’ my aunt effused last Christmas, reaching for my waist as I arranged mince pies on the kitchen counter. Her words were meant as praise, but they landed like a stone in my stomach. In the background, relatives quipped about how ‘big’ some of our family members had become, while others had ‘kept nice and trim’. It was the same ritual I’d witnessed since childhood – women’s bodies becoming public property during the festive season, served up for commentary alongside the turkey and stuffing.
Three hours later, I found myself standing in front of my childhood bedroom mirror, staring at my full stomach and counting the chocolates I’d eaten – a personal holiday tradition I’d been practicing since my teens. The festive cheer was gone and I was left feeling sick. But this year, I’m determined to make a change.
I’m done with the annual ritual of body shame that’s become as much a part of Christmas as tinsel and turkey. I’m done with the unavoidable conversations about what we can or can’t eat, and the knowing looks exchanged between relatives as they comment on who’s gained or lost weight. I’m done with the way these conversations echo through generations, teaching young girls that their bodies are something to be monitored, and that tasty foods are actually bittersweet – laden with guilt.
The statistics tell a devastating story. According to the 2023 Girlguiding report, an alarming 68% of girls aged 11-21 want to lose weight, with nearly half admitting to skipping meals to be thinner – a 15% increase since 2018. We’ve normalised this suffering so completely that psychologists have a term for it: normative discontent, the expected state of women being eternally unhappy with their bodies.
The holiday season amplifies this discord. Between family members who think body commentary is casual conversation and the impending wave of New Year weight loss messaging, the festive months become a minefield of shame. And while diet culture may have swapped its obvious fat-phobia for smiling promises of ‘wellness’ and ‘self-care,’ the message remains the same: your body needs fixing.
But what if we chose differently? What if, instead of entering another year of self-criticism, we committed to creating sanctuaries for ourselves and others? As much as the problem may seem too immense to tackle, it has been proven that we have so much power to make a difference to one another in our everyday conversations and interactions. As friends, mothers, sisters, aunts – we are all influencers in each other’s lives. Every time we apologise for our appearance, ridicule our bodies or greet one another with comments about weight instead of auras or achievements, we reinforce the idea that beauty is our primary value. We can choose different dinner table topics, create different measures of worth, and show younger generations that their bodies are the least interesting thing about them.
This transformation isn’t just personal – it’s political, it’s part of a broader movement towards dismantling the societal pressures that dictate women’s relationships with their bodies. As we move forward, we can be more mindful about how these conversations on bodies crop up and, when they do, we can swiftly move them to the side.
I’ve started this journey by redirecting my energy toward joy. I’ve swapped punishing workout routines for community Zumba classes, where the delight of generations of women dancing and shimmying together drowns out any thoughts about how I look. I’m learning to eat until I’m satisfied, to enjoy the pleasure of good food shared with loved ones without measuring the cost in calories or guilt.
The changes can start small. Eat the Christmas chocolates. Allow yourself to be comfortable, tune into what gives you pleasure, be kind to other women, and start to create a life that feels nourishing and delicious. Move your body for fun, not punishment. When negative thoughts or comments arise, redirect them to gratitude for what your body enables you to do – to hug, to dance, to create, to live. Research shows this simple shift in perspective creates a powerful buffer against future self-criticism.
This holiday season, I’m making a different kind of resolution. Instead of planning how to shrink myself in the New Year, I’m expanding my capacity for joy. I’m choosing to see my body not as an obstacle to overcome but as my mode of experiencing life’s pleasures. I’m learning that taking up space isn’t a sin – it’s a sign that I’m fully present in my life. It’s no easy feat, but it is crucial.
So, to all the women who have spent too many holidays at war with themselves: we deserve better. This Christmas, I’m done ridiculing my body. Instead, I’m nurturing it, celebrating it, and using my influence to uplift other women. So, let’s make a pact: this Christmas, let’s leave behind the body-shaming talk, the guilt, and the restrictive mindsets. Let’s commit to a future that is healthier, kinder, and more inclusive—one full of liberation, laughter, and self-love in its truest sense. Let’s resolve to rebirth the girl within into a world where she is enough, and worthy of so much more.
Read the original article in ELLE UK.
