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Bad dates are a universal experience. Some are awkward enough to laugh about; others are strange enough to rehash over drinks. But then there are the dates that leave a mark—the ones that ruin something forever or add a new, non-negotiable red flag to your checklist.
In this edition of ELLE Confessions, eight women spill on the one terrible date that changed something in them.
The Confessions
1. The Man Who Brought His Mum (Figuratively, and Literally)
“We met for dinner and drinks. He ordered beer after beer—six or seven in the span of two hours—while I sat nursing a coffee. Between pints, he talked a big game about vacations we’d supposedly take together. When the bill arrived, he announced that his mum controlled his money. I paid; he called his mum to book him a cab, and he promised he’d pay me back. Two years later? Radio silence. I blocked him as soon as I got in my car.”
2. The Ex Who Never Left
“He spent the entire date talking about his ex. Three hours, nonstop, with play-by-play details of their breakup. I realised two things that night: closure is personal, and I am not anyone’s unpaid therapist.”
3. The Wallet Watcher
“He asked me out to a café he chose. When the bill came, he split it down to the exact rupee—387 each—and then asked if I had a two-rupee coin. That was the night I decided generosity isn’t about money. It’s about spirit.”
4. The Man Who Ordered for Me
“He confidently ordered my dinner without asking what I wanted. When the food arrived, he spent most of the evening telling me what I should eat less of, drink less of, and basically how to live my life. Never again. If he orders for me, I know he’ll try to live for me.”
5. The Three-Hour Late Arrival
“He was three hours late and turned up blaming traffic. I was about to leave when he finally arrived. No apology, just a shrug. That day taught me lateness isn’t about roads. It’s about respect.”
6. The Negging Game
“He kept making digs at my job—calling it ‘cute writing’ and saying I must be good at Instagram captions. I’ve never forgotten that date because it taught me this: if a man belittles what you do, he’ll never respect who you are.”
7. The Split Screen
“He spent most of the date on his phone, scrolling and texting, barely looking at me. At some point, I realised I was just background noise. That was the night I promised myself I’d never compete with a screen again.”
8. The Fast-Forward Fantasy
“He told me within the first fifteen minutes that he could see me as his wife and that we’d have two children and live in his parents’ home. It wasn’t flattering. It was claustrophobic. That date ruined romantic future talk for me—now I always listen to how quickly a man writes me into his story.”
Bad dates are rarely just about bad food or boring conversation. They’re markers. The moments that rewire what you’ll tolerate, what you’ll notice, and what you’ll never sit through again. And sometimes, that’s the only good thing a terrible date can leave you with.