Dirty Talk Is Out—Praise Kink Is In: Why Sweet Nothings Are The New Safe Word

Lately, I’ve noticed the vibe in the bedroom is shifting. Less “get on your knees, peasant” and more “you’re doing amazing, sweetie.” The hardcore growls and filthy commands aren’t gone entirely, but they’re making a bit of room—for something softer, sweeter. Enter: Praise Kink. Where the real turn-on is being told you’re a good girl or a total goddess. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still space for the classics. No one’s snatching the ball gags just yet. But there’s a new vibe and it’s all about compliments, cuddles, and the kind of affirmations that make you feel like the main character.

What Is Praise Kink?

Imagine you’re in bed with someone, things are heating up, bodies tangled and instead of a string of raunchy expletives, you’re being told, “You’re amazing. You feel incredible. You’re making me feel so good.” You melt. You squirm. You want more. That? That’s praise kink.

It’s a specific kind of positive reinforcement that hits different. We’re not just talking about liking compliments—this is about erotic validation. You don’t just like being told you're a good girl. You need it to get off. It’s not new, per se—romance novels have been doing this since forever—but thanks to TikTok, it’s trending. Apparently, being adored is sexy. Who knew?

I used to think it was all about degradation. You know, the usual menu: name-calling, bossy commands, something about being a “naughty little whatever.” And while it sort of worked, I never really felt turned on—more like I was playing a role I’d been told was sexy. Then one night, somewhere between wine and candlelight, my partner called me “his favourite thing” and I almost levitated. I had no idea how much I wanted to be worshipped until that moment.

The Rise of Soft Domming a.k.a. Being Mean But With Manners

Being a dom who talks dirty takes a certain kind of flair. But being a dom who showers praise? That’s art. It’s still power play, it’s just power play with emotional intelligence. Some praise doms are blending it with traditional BDSM gear, there are pink bejewelled paddles and glittery collars. It’s not “softer” in a lesser sense, it’s more nurturing.

Is Praise Kink Normal?

There’s this weird assumption that if you crave constant validation in bed, you must have some deep childhood trauma. And okay, maybe you do. Who doesn’t? But you also probably like puppies and crime documentaries. You contain multitudes. Your erotic preferences aren’t always traceable to a trauma plotline. Sometimes, you were just born fabulous and want someone to say so—repeatedly—while you're tied up.

How Do You Bring It Up Without Dying of Awkwardness?

Start simple. Mention it outside the bedroom. Not mid-way, unless you enjoy confusion. Try something like: “Hey, I saw this thing online about praise kink, and it kind of turned me on. Would you be into trying that?” Bring receipts—a tweet, a reel or this little article. Let them mull it over. Maybe even create a “praise me” menu. You can include classics like:

You’re so good at this.

You make me feel amazing.

You’re my favourite.

Good girl/boy.

Dirty talk had its moment. But in this economy? We want kindness, encouragement and flirty enthusiasm with a splash of filth. Praise kink is the intersection of softness and sex, of being cherished and being devoured. And honestly, it makes you feel kind of iconic, exactly as you deserve to.