You Don’t Want A Hot Girl Summer, You Want Your Power Back

Maturity is realising that Hot Girl Summer was never really about poolside thirst traps or neon bikinis. Not in the way pop culture wants you to believe, at least. Behind this concept that’s been marketed to the heavens is something a lot more real. Reinvention. The kind that begins in your head and subtly seeps into your choices.

The truth is, wanting a “hot girl summer” is less about looking good in low-rise jeans and more about finally feeling in charge of your own life. It's your brain telling you, “I want out.” Out of old stories. Out of burnout. Out of the same six outfits and one drained emotional battery.

So, let’s unpack this cultural phenomenon, not as a trend, but as a tool. A way to reclaim your energy, rewire your habits, and step into a self-care concept that feels hot. Not just to the world, but to you.

What You’re Actually Chasing

When you say you want a glow-up, what you might really be craving is:

• Freedom from stale routines, from “shoulds,” from identities that no longer serve you.

• Validation, but the kind that feels internal and empowering, not performative or desperate.

• Momentum. Something that pulls you forward instead of keeping you stuck in autopilot.

It's not vanity. It's psychology. And there’s science to back it.

The Psychology of a Hot Girl Summer

Let’s call in the experts (aka, your brain's favourite frameworks):

• Self-Determination Theory says we crave autonomy. You want to freely choose how your summer feels.

• Identity-Based Habits tell us we become what we practice. And hot girls? They’re consistent.

• Self-Verification Theory explains why we want to be seen accurately—because nothing feels worse than being misunderstood, or worse, invisible.

So, what do you do with all this? You meet the need underneath the want.

Your Glow-Up Might Really Mean

• “I feel invisible” = You want to feel seen.

• “I feel stuck” = You want movement.

• “I feel small” = You want to take up space.

There’s nothing shallow about wanting to shine. There’s actually something deeply spiritual about refusing to dim your light just to fit in.

How To Create Your Hot Girl Summer

Let’s skip the moodboards and get into actual mindset shifts. Here’s the real 4-step formula:

Step 1: Pick One Emotional State

This is your anchor. Your North Star. Ask yourself, “If I could feel one thing every day this summer, what would it be?”

• Power: You’re craving boldness, decisiveness, main-character energy.

• Softness: You want rest, safety, and room to feel.

• Peace: You need a break from the chaos.

• Magnetism: You want to feel chosen, remembered, and seen.

Pro tip: Pick the opposite of what you've been stuck in. If you’ve been hiding, choose power. If you’ve been hustling on autopilot, it might be time for some softness.

Step 2: Build Habits Around That Feeling

This is the secret sauce. Emotions are habits. To feel a certain way, you have to act like it’s already true.

If you picked Power:

• Wear outfits that make you walk like you own the room.

• Make one bold move a week. That DM? Send it.

• Speak first. Move first. Be heard.

• Read something that rewires your belief in yourself.

If you picked Softness:

• Give yourself 20 mins of “white space” daily. No screens, no tasks.

• Journal in candlelight instead of doomscrolling.

• Say no to performative perfection.

• Speak to yourself like you would to someone you adore.

Step 3: Say No To What Doesn’t Match

Call it your identity firewall. If it doesn’t serve your chosen energy, it’s a firm no. Even if it looks fun or productive.

Create your Summer No List, three things you will not tolerate this season, because they drain your energy.

Examples:

• Group chats that make you feel less-than.

• Projects that don’t pay your worth.

• Workouts that punish instead of empower.

Step 4: Track How You Feel, Not How You Look

Let go of metrics like weight, likes, or aesthetic validation. Instead, ask, "Did I feel more like my best version today?"
Use voice notes, a notes app, or a tiny pocket journal to log your emotional state. That’s your real progress bar.

Become Your Own Blueprint

Forget what your feed says. Your hot girl summer is not a before-and-after photo. It’s a full-bodied, deeply personal reintroduction to the version of you that’s been waiting in the wings.