Just like you, I didn’t receive any sexual education growing up in India and Mumbai too. Sexual education was limited to the legendary ‘Reproduction’ chapter in Biology that didn’t teach me anything at all apart from some female and male anatomy. While I discovered sex through erotic novels that were hidden away in the closed corners of my house, my introduction to masturbation came through excessively crass porn. A hormonal-crazed teenager sat cowled in front of her computer screen as she watched a porn star masturbate and squirt unreasonable amounts of liquid. Thus began my journey to discover what masturbation was. When I was all alone, I would watch a lot of videos in an attempt to figure out which body part was stimulated and try to figure out what I was supposed to do—and end up failing most of the time.
Most people I know have hilarious masturbation stories to tell because there’s zero to no sex education that shakes existing shame and stigma. Sometimes owing to this very shame and stigma along with the lack of sex education individuals shy away from exploring their bodies and the pleasure it has the power to feel. When Oh My God 2 hit the screens, its plot struck a chord with most of us. The movie tells us the story of a young boy who gets bullied for his penis size and thinks that masturbation is the solution to ‘increasing it’. He ends up masturbating in school which causes a massive uproar. It showed us the sorry state of affairs we’re stuck in when it comes to masturbation.
There’s no right age to explore masturbation, it doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 30 or even 40 and haven’t masturbated. But learning how to explore your body by yourself or with sex toys is an invigorating experience that will inject so much into your life. Here’s how you can do that.—
Understand what your body is like
Again, we’re blessed with zero access to sex education so most of us are completely unaware about our body parts, specifically the genitals. It’s crucial to understand what parts of the genitals give you pleasure. For some women, it’s the clitoris while for some it’s the penetration of the vagina. With several gynaecologists creating content on Instagram and YouTube, access to sexual education has become easier. Take a mirror and look at your clitoris, your vagina and your labia, it’s something that will help you truly understand your body.
Engage in foreplay
Who said that foreplay is a partnered thing? Solo fun could be a spicy touch to your pleasure session. Get into the mood by incorporating elements that make you feel calm and at peace. Dim the lights a little bit, put on a sexy playlist with some sensual tunes and light an aphrodisiac candle. It’s a tried-and-tested recipe for an orgasm.
Try using your fingers
Yes, vibrators and sex toys are extremely rousing but before one jumps into that it’s always good to use your fingers to masturbate. Ensure your hands are washed clean for safety measures. For starters, spit is a great lubricant to help your fingers move around the area. Begin by spreading your labia out and massaging the area around the clitoris and then slowly move to the clitoris. You can also insert a finger into your vagina but ensure that there is enough lubrication for that to happen.
Research about the kind of vibrators in the market
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Now, this could be an overwhelming activity to do because there are so many great options out there. But once you’re aware of where pleasure comes from for you, the task becomes easier. Instead of splurging on a fancy vibrator that features multiple modes and speeds opt for a simple vibrator that performs the function of pleasure. The Indian sex toy market is booming with sexual wellness companies such as MyMuse, imBesharam, That Sassy Thing and The Sangya Project giving us exactly what we need.
Don’t shy away from lube
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Most individuals assume that lubricant isn’t needed because the vagina lubricates itself. But it doesn’t hurt to have some extra help for your fingers or toys to glide in. There are different types of lubes available in the market—water-based, oil-based and silicon-based. Water-based lube works well with most sex toys and doesn’t cause any adverse reactions to the body.
At the end of the day, embrace masturbation because you want your body to feel pleasure not because there’s a need to do it.
