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This article (rant) may or may not be a frustrating consequence of the writer arriving at work semi-drenched, in hefty jeans that take three business days to dry. Mumbai, my beloved Mumbai. Why do you breadcrumb me, and why do I still beg for the bare minimum? Roads that clog up if it rains for more than three hours at a stretch, broken metro connectivity, godforsaken hygiene conditions, and a population higher (an understatement, truly) than the land can handle. During my everyday commute to work, my brain is a hodgepodge of mind-numbing brainrot, courtesy Instagram, questions that circle world affairs and thought-trains I’m glad no one else but me is privy to. It’s a four-hour journey per day — what can I say?
Here are the standard thoughts I encounter daily, while travelling 10000 kms to work.
1. Why?
Why am I doing this? Why was I born, and what was my purpose on God's green earth? That drive to grind for the bag has me treading on some spiritual path unbeknownst to mankind.
2. What If Music Didn’t Exist?
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Spotify, Apple, YouTube — whatever may be your drug of choice, imagining one’s commute (or even life in general) without music is an achingly dreadful task. What do you mean by “No, you can’t listen to Norman F*cking Rockwell three times in a row whilst romanticising the unhygienic potholes that offer potential risk to human life?” Shhh.
3. I Miss Being Annoyingly Punctual
I was (past tense, yes) always the person who’d turn up 30 minutes before the decided time for every event, every social gathering and so on. Now that I think about it, I earned some bad reputation there because, of course, being late is more socially acceptable and fashionable. Whatever that means. It was an ego boost for me, truth be told — something I’d brag about to my friends as we’d convene to stuff our faces with burgers and whatever was planned for the evening. Eyerolls were received. Miss the eyerolls.
4. The Infrastructure Conundrum
Touted as the financial capital of India, a front-runner in multiple economic markets and a hub of culture, Mumbai’s glory days oscillate between being the edgier sibling of Delhi and facing allegations of being a performative sigma male. The aqua metro line actually flooding up wasn't the literal humour we were looking forward to. Saddening.
5. Who’s Going To Be Voted As The Next Sexiest Man Alive?
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Tom Cruise, Richard Gere, Jude Law, Chris Evans and more. All yummy men on this list. Who’s going to take the cake in 2025, though? It better be Dev Patel.
6. A 9-5 Isn’t Actually A 9-5. Hmmm.
Eight hours, says the labour law. Minus accounting for the four hours I spend travelling, of course. So, 12. Lovely. No one talks to me.
7. Did I Switch The Geyser Off Or Not?
Or the gas. I might be a Gen Z, but exhibiting millennial traits is sort of a pastime for me. Case in point, Gen Zers are rather inconvenienced by safety measures, no shame in its admittance.
8. Shoutout To My Forgiving Boss
I have never faced the wrath of my boss (who’s also going to be editing this, kudos to her) for stepping in a few minutes late. While she’s been quite accommodating, the now-dead punctuality bug in me feels pangs of guilt for not being on time every day. I’m trying! And, thank you.
So, what's your commute like? Thorns or roses? Uber cancellations or MMA fights in the local?