When A New Girlfriend Overdoes It: How Do You Recognise “Love Bombing” In Friendship?

If love bombing wreaks havoc in love, it would be more difficult to detect in friendship. In a context of dating or seduction, this manipulation technique consists in “bombarding” the other with affection, gifts and declarations at the very beginning of a relationship, to create a quick and intense bond, often in order to control or dominate one's prey. But what about friendly relationships?

What Is “Friend Bombing”?

Toxic friendships also exist. Thus, “friend bombing” consists in creating emotional dependence in order to make new friends. While friendly “love bombing” may be a form of manipulation, this behaviour is not always malicious.

“Some people may just be really excited because they haven't had close friends before,” explains Nicole Sbordone, a therapist in Scottsdale.

In any case, this attitude can cause people to feel unwell or suffocated. Especially since the links are likely to crumble quickly: “You don't take the time to build a solid relationship, and a friendship that is not based on solid foundations collapses,” says Alison Murphey, American marriage and family therapist, to our colleagues. It is therefore important to know how to spot certain red flags.

How to detect friendly “love bombing”?

If you are worried about being bullied by a girlfriend, intuition can be a very good ally. Also, several signals can catch your ear, according to experts.

First of all, if this new friend is showering you with compliments and gifts that don't seem genuine to you, it may be a good idea to stay on your guard. “I've never met someone as incredible as you, you are exactly the person I expected in my life”, “In such a short time, you have become the most important person to me”... are all sentences that may seem inappropriate. “It almost feels like an interesting relationship,” says Alison Murphey. In the same spirit, putting on “best friend” labels very early in the relationship can be a sign of “love bombing.”

As in a toxic relationship, guilt and isolation can also be warning signs. For example, “friend bombing” can result in jealousy when you spend time with other people. “You don't want to be only with or dominated by one person. We all need other friendships and relationships,” recalls the therapist.

Finally, excessively imitating your actions can be revealing. “Imagine someone who dresses like you, talks like you, and behaves like you,” illustrates the expert. This tendency to adopt the same behaviours can give the illusion of false proximity — smoke and mirrors that can be toxic. Thus, taking your time to build relationships and keeping a step back helps to protect yourself from relationships that are too invasive and energy-consuming.

Read the original article on ELLE.FR.