The Ex-Files: Sleeping With An Ex Isn’t Always A Mistake—But It Is A Risk

At some point—possibly after a drink, possibly out of boredom—you will think about sleeping with your ex. You might even do it. And this is not the article that tells you whether you should or shouldn’t. This is the article that says: if you’re going to do it, at least be honest about what kind of situation you’re walking into.

Because sometimes it’s not about romance or regret. Sometimes it’s just about closure with good lighting and zero small talk. Other times, it’s a predictable spiral disguised as nostalgia. And occasionally—rarely—it might actually be a soft reset. Not because people change overnight, but because sometimes timing is the missing piece.

So here it is: a completely chaotic, slightly too honest classification system for sleeping with your ex—without shame, but with eyes wide open.

1. The Hot Mistake (You Know You'll Block Again)

This is a strategic relapse. You're not confused. You're not hopeful. You're just bored, moisturised, and in the mood to remind someone of what they lost. If you can emotionally detach, go off. Just remember to clear the call log and light a candle afterwards—something expensive that smells like moving on.

2. The Soft Reboot (Tread Lightly)

He’s been in therapy. He wears linen now. The voice notes sound less emotionally stunted. You’re not just curious—you’re cautiously intrigued. Proceed only if you’re not doing it for old memories or aesthetic closure. If the storyline’s changed for real, fine. If it’s just a better outfit on the same red flag? Archive it.

3. The Fantasy Fix (Abort Mission)

You’re still in love. You think this will fix it. It won’t. You’ll cry in the Uber home, journal like it’s 2016, and wake up with a vulnerability hangover. This isn’t a hookup—it’s a hope spiral. And if you’re not done mourning the breakup, don’t re-open the wound just because they used punctuation correctly this time.

The truth is, there’s no clean way to do this. Sleeping with an ex is never emotionally neutral—it’s charged, even if it’s quiet. But it’s also deeply personal. There’s no universal outcome. Sometimes you leave their house feeling smug. Sometimes you leave feeling spun out. Sometimes, weirdly, you feel nothing at all.

But if there’s one rule, it’s this: know what you’re walking into. Don’t pretend it’s casual if it’s not. Don’t romanticise what broke you. And don’t shame yourself for wanting to revisit something that once made sense—even if only to confirm that it no longer does.

Because sleeping with your ex isn’t always a mistake. But it’s never not a risk.