We’ve been conditioned to associate the act of sex with penetration. As a woman, penetrative sex is probably one of the last things I enjoy. Statistically, more than half of the women do not orgasm with just penetrative sex. I’m not saying that penetrative sex isn’t fun, it’s a more extensive experience. Outercourse is the ‘so much more’ that allows you to enjoy the ‘buildup’ to the final act.
I mean, I could engage in a makeout session for hours and not be bored! Often used synonymously with foreplay, outercourse includes a gazillion things in its realm, all depending on your sexual boundaries. However, while kissing is definitely at the top of the outercourse list, there are so many other activities one could engage in to dial the temperature up a notch.
What Is Outercourse?
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Think of outercourse as everything that doesn’t include penetration of any sort at all. After all, sexual pleasure shouldn’t be restricted to a specific activity. Outercourse is often mistaken with foreplay, and somewhere along the way, these activities do intersect. However, foreplay is a precursor to intercourse whereas outercourse isn’t a precursor to anything at all—it’s something one enjoys without worrying about what comes next. There’s no pressure to engage in sex at all.
Outercourse> Everything Else
Outercourse not only allows you to become acquainted with all the curves and crevices of your own body, but it also allows your partner/s to explore your body and build intimacy and set boundaries.
If you’re curious about incorporating some fun outercourse moves in your life, here are a few things you can try out.—
An act that often gets a side-eye when mentioned in casual conversations, mutual masturbation is something that can let partners experiment with their own bodies along with creating an environment of increased intimacy. If you happen to be someone who doesn’t deal well with the pressures of offering pleasure to your partner, mutual masturbation is your gateway to experiencing pleasure as well as watching your partner do the same. However, it’s completely normal to feel a tad bit awkward even if you’ve been with your partner for a while. But once you cross that line, mutual pleasure can be quite the game changer.
Touted as a classic outercourse move, a sensual massage often does the trick of taking things up a notch. With dim lighting, aphrodisiac candles and massage oils, your fingers can work to create some magic. A slow massage with shifting pressures targeting parts of the body that are otherwise left undiscovered can prove to be highly gratifying.
What most people tend to miss out on when it comes to BDSM is that this rarely ever includes acts of penetration in it, making it a perfect outercourse act. Also, BDSM doesn’t signify violence or brutal actions. It’s intriguing to know that BDSM, when indulged in after a discussion with the partner, can be a pleasurable act. If you’ve always been intrigued by acts of bondage and role play—it is the perfect way to explore it with your partner. Since these don’t focus on penetration, they all result in heightened levels of pleasure. Of course, it’s imperative to discuss consent and aftercare with any ‘kinky’ activity before you begin.
Sex Toys Galore
As someone who tries out the latest sex toys in the market at every chance I get, I can tell you that using them with your partner is equally pleasurable. By choosing a suction-based vibrator, you can easily take penetration off the menu. Let your partner use this on the erogenous zones that aren’t limited to the usual ones and watch yourself climax like never before.
Teasing Your Way
Personally, one of my favourite ways to engage in outercourse has been the art of teasing. Creating anticipation by withholding yourself from your partner is always a great recipe to make things steamier in the bedroom. Teasing can be done in multiple ways, but the most intense one has to be edging your partner multiple times and then finally helping them climax—an incomparable feeling.