I have never related to a Taylor Swift song more than I do to You’re on Your Own, Kid from her tenth studio album, Midnights. Over the past few months, I have come to terms with the fact that I am made of contradictions and despite seeking a connection, I am perhaps not fully ready to date. I need to learn to spend more time with myself rather than using these hours to do more work, the niggling expectation to be productive looming over my head. The idea of being on my own or going solo dates in my twenties would have scared my teenage self.
My best friends shifting to other countries and having less time for me didn’t sit right with me at first. There were nights when I would think about what to do so I could ease this feeling, like a twisted knot in my stomach. I have never been on my own since my childhood; I’ve always been surrounded by siblings, friends, or family.
But slowly, I have found a way that the solitude not only has a positive effect on my mood, but also makes me feel happier and lighter. And it is doing things that I used to do with my folks—the things you probably imagine as group activities—grabbing a coffee, making dinner together, catching a movie, roaming around your favourite street, alone. You don’t have to be with another person to go out or go on a date. In fact, solo dating is a great way to make time for yourself. Just spend some good old-fashioned alone time.
For folks who are not familiar with the term? A solo date is an self planned activity that you do alone. Key word: self. It might feel a little awkward or scary at first, especially given the fact that you’re not used to doing things alone or going out alone, but it’s a great way to get out of your comfort zone and rebuild your relationship with yourself.
The right solo date ideas for you will depend on what you find fulfilling, and it’s a good idea to start out small and simple, like going to your favourite cafe or an art gallery. And after going on solo dates for a long time, I am jotting down five reasons that might convince you to give it a try:
Resetting Your Mind
A solo date can act as a reset button in our busy lives, helping you re-establish a connection with yourself. It also frees you from the pressure to engage in conversation and allows you to just be. There are various places you visit alone when you go to work or shop for groceries, but you will witness a fresh perspective that comes from going on a solo date. It may really help you break free from a pattern because, every now and then, we need a little adjustment.
Confidence Booster
Going on a solo date is an activity that can push you outside of your comfort zone and increase your confidence. You may feel some nervousness at the start. Thoughts like, ‘Is everyone staring at me?’ might be a pressing questions when dining alone at a restaurant for the first time. They are not. Try your hardest to push through the discomfort if you’re feeling nervous. You’ll slowly feel more confident, independent, liberated, happier, more relaxed, and at peace if you can accomplish such tasks on your own.
Talk about feeling like the main character!
Your preferences and boundaries
A big factor in solo dating is that you are in charge of your choices; you aren’t compromising just to make your friends or partner happy. There must have been times you had to give in on things and experiences when you’re out with your friends or even just your partners. In a healthy connection or relationship, of course, it’s nice to make sacrifices; that’s what keeps you close. Even when it’s acknowledged and returned, there are moments when you just want to do what you do without worrying about fitting in.
You can explore life on a solo date without having to make any concessions. For this reason, going on a solo date at least once a month is a great act of self-indulgence.
Exploring new things
A solo date can be great chance to take and learn new things considering some of our friends aren’t always up for change. It can help you finding newer hobbies, enrolling in a cooking or a fitness class, or even checking out a hip new cocktail bar you saw while scrolling reels. I mean, we have all saved so many posts and reels about places but didn’t visit them because no one wanted to take a chance at the newer place.
Finally, It relaxing!
There will be a different glow on your face after spending a day doing your own thing. You will feel content and at ease. After finally snacking on those truffle fries in peace or having a warm cup of mocha coffee in the cafe while surrounded by books, you will leave a little nostalgic yet exuberant. When you’re by yourself, enjoying life’s small joys without having to deal with people expecting something from you is exciting.
You can travel as far as you like, of course, but it’s wise to let your family members or anyone you live with know where you are, just in case you find yourself the target of a search and rescue operation when you return home. Just kidding!
Also read, Tend To Feel Sad On Or Around Your Birthday? You’re Not Alone
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