Before Coffee? Bold Of You—Let’s Talk Morning Sex

I love sleep. Not anytime-of-the-day-sleep. Specifically a good night's sleep where my body naturally wakes up when it wants to in the morning. Eight hours is my baseline, ten is my happy place, and god help anyone who wakes me up before my REM cycle is done doing its thing. Which is why, when a friend casually said “morning sex is superior,” I actually did a full-body eye roll. Before brushing? Before coffee? Before I’ve even formed a coherent sentence? NO.

And yet, here we are—talking about it. Because love it or loathe it, morning sex is one of those things that inspires very strong opinions.

Mixed Opinions

To investigate further, I did what any modern woman does—I asked the group chat.

One friend replied, “It’s a no from me. I need to wash my face, get in a good stretch, align my chakras… sex is not on that pre-coffee to-do list.” Another said, “Honestly, it’s kind of perfect. It feels lazy, unplanned, and sweet. Like a soft open to the day. Bonus points if there’s dim sunlight.” She’s also the same person who thrives on 6 a.m. runs and drinks celery juice for fun. So, take that as you will.

The truth is, the case for morning sex is surprisingly solid—endorphins, connection, convenience (you're already there, after all). But for every romantic sunrise romp, there’s also dry mouth, questionable breath, and a strong desire to not be touched until fully caffeinated.

But It's Not for Everyone (And That's Okay)

Here’s the thing—just like people are either breakfast enthusiasts or don’t eat until noon, our libido clocks can be wildly different. Some of us wake up ready to go. Others need a little time, a little reflection, a playlist that says "I know it's only been 10 hours, but I need you again." It is an actual thing to not be able to process these feelings and sensations when your brain isn't ready for it.

Also, let’s not forget consent doesn’t go on autopilot just because it’s 7 a.m. and you’re sharing a duvet. Being half-asleep isn’t a hall pass. Communication is still sexy—especially when it sounds like, “Hey, do you want to… or should we hit snooze again?” (Honestly, sometimes this disagreement, even when you know you want to, is the foreplay.)

Why Some People Swear By It

Beyond the romance of tousled sheets and sleepy smiles, there’s science too. Morning sex can spike your oxytocin and boost your mood, making it a fun substitute for your usual HIIT class. Testosterone levels are also naturally higher in the morning—for women too—which can make everything feel that much more charged. Plus, it’s kind of a power move to leave the house with your smoothie and post-O glow on.

One of the group chat girlies described it best, “It’s like sending a cheeky little love note to the rest of your day. And sometimes that note just says, ‘nothing can get to me today.’”

And Yet, the Coffee Waits

Look, there’s no right time to have sex—only the right time for you. Maybe you’re the type who thrives on sleepy cuddles-turned-something-more. Or maybe you’re like me, and prefer to save the action for when you’re done with your morning scroll and are emotionally prepared to remove your eye mask.

Whatever your preference, just remember: mutual enthusiasm > perfect timing. Always.

As for me? I'm still a firm believer in the power of a hot morning cappuccino and a man who won't break my sleep because it's the easier road to take. But hey—if the vibe is right, the sun hits just so, and the sheets are still warm… I might just consider a little morning mischief. Just don’t expect me to talk about it until after 9 a.m.