Personally, I have qualms with this term because there’s absolutely nothing unclean or dirty about the whole act. Maybe we can blame society’s archaic behaviours for this. However, since communication is the golden key to every dynamic, even sexual ones—dirty talking is an act that deserves to be discussed a tad bit more. A study conducted by the Journal of Social & Personal Relationships makes it abundantly clear that verbal communication during sexual acts makes the journey all the more enjoyable.
However, on a feisty night out when I quizzed my girlfriends on whether they’ve whispered erotic nothings into the ears of their partners, most of them responded with, “That’s too much, this isn’t porn please!” And that turned my face into the cute Disney girl meme. As someone who enjoys dirty talking, I’m going to make a strong case for why should dirty talking be a part of your sex life. Not going to lie, this can be quite awkward to manoeuvre through for someone who hasn’t tested out the waters yet. But once you’re swimming in those waters, there’s nothing like it.
Dirty talk can allow you to embrace a new love language with your partner, and help you communicate all of your needs and desires. Not only is it the perfect way to turn up the notch on the steaminess by adding some anticipation to the mix, but it’s also an ideal way to let your partner know what is it about them that gets you going.
In case you’re wondering about how to add dirty talk into your life, here are a few things that will make it breezy for you.
Speak To Your Partner
The idea of introducing dirty talk into your dynamic can seem extremely exciting, but also comes along with a lot of questions and concerns, for both partners. Crisp communication with your partner about every single detail is the first stepping stone here. If you’re the one looking to introduce dirty talk, tell your partner why experimenting with this could be the missing piece your sex life needs. Discussing your sexual boundaries with your partner allows you paint a clear picture of the activities you’re comfortable with. Use this conversation to let your partner know about the verbal cues that excite you and the ones that turn you off.
Like every other sexual activity, this one beckons you to start simple too. By doing so, one can ascertain the levels of comfort their partner feels while engaging in dirty talk. Not everyone can positively react to being told promiscuous things, especially if they haven’t ever experienced it before. Feelings of shame, awkwardness and guilt aren’t uncommon in a situation where dirty talk makes an entrance. You don’t have to go all out and tell your partner about the steamy things you want to do with them in extreme detail. By describing in plain words such as “I really can’t wait to get that shirt off you.”, there’s no taking aback and only feelings of desire.
Erotic novels were the catalyst for my journey of sexual exploration. Not only did they pique my curiosity about different sexual activities, but they also made it easier to let go of the chains of embarrassment. These books accustom you to being kinder and gentler with your partner, hence setting a tone for all of your escapades together. Introducing your partner to erotica can open the doors to stagnant conversations surrounding sex and also aid you with risque prompts!
If You’re Nervous, Embrace Sexting
Sexting is an old favourite in our books, and we’ve already made a strong case for it! Dirty talk can be an intimidating activity, even for partners who have been together a considerably long time. Sexting is a way to practice your language before you say it out loud, so there is a massive room for one to gauge what exactly might make their partner feel good. Before you introduce dirty talk into your relationship, send your partner a few racy texts to get into the zone.
It’s Not Just In The Bedroom
If you thought dirty talk was only restricted to the bedroom, you’re highly mistaken! Your surroundings aren’t a crucial factor, as long as you have the enthusiastic consent of your partner. When you’re grabbing a drink or two whispering into your partner’s ears how you can’t wait to get back home to them is always a good idea.
Laugh It Off
Most often, when it comes to sexual activities, we end up taking ourselves a little too seriously than we’re supposed to! The whole idea of it is to increase the intimacy between your partner and you. There will be times when one of you ends up making a comment that will definitely leave you in splits. So, allow yourself to laugh it off.