Why Going Back To An Ex Feels Like ‘Rewatching Comfort Shows’

There’s a certain kind of solace that only comes from a comfort show. You know, the ones we all love from Friends, to Gilmore Girls. They’re not just television; they’re muscle memory. Background noise when you’re cleaning your room. A warm hug on days that feel too loud. Dialogue that lives in your brain rent-free (“We were on a break!”).

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I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve rewatched Gilmore Girls, and each time, I already know Rory will make questionable choices, Lorelai will run from commitment, and yet, I still root for them like it’s the first time. Just like how I still find myself replaying memories with the ex I swore I wouldn’t text again.

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Because going back to them feels a lot like pressing play on Season 1, Episode 'pilot' of your favourite show it’s familiar, it’s flawed, and it just makes sense in a way you can’t explain. You know what’s coming. The good, the bad, the same silly fight about the way they overreacted that one time at brunch. But you also know the rhythm, the laughter, the feeling of being known without needing to explain.

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How I Met Your Mother captured it when Ted said, “You can’t cling to the past. Because no matter how tightly you hold on, it’s already gone.” And yet, we do and as we know, he does too. Not because we believe the past will change but because we remember how it felt. And the 'feeling,' in your twenties, often takes the driver’s seat while logic sits in the back, eating fries.

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In Modern Family, Phil Dunphy once said, “The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations.” Which sounds cynical unless you’ve ever gotten back with someone you thought was your person, even when the signs said “Do Not Enter.” But this isn’t about romanticising red flags. It’s about patterns. The ones we dance in and out of. The ones we swear we’ve grown out of until 2 am hits and we’re three episodes deep into Friends and thinking maybe I could text him? Just to see. Just to remember what it felt like when things were easy.

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Psychologist Dr. Jennifer Freed once said, “We go back to people, not because they’re good for us, but because they’re familiar. And the nervous system loves familiarity more than happiness.” It makes sense. We are, after all, creatures of comfort. And our twenties, messy, magical, and mildly unstable are all about reaching for anything that feels like solid ground.

Maybe going back to a favourite ex isn’t the most “healed girl” thing to do. But sometimes healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it looks like recognising patterns and still choosing softness. Like Lorelai going back to Luke, again and again, until they finally get it right. Or Ted retelling the same love story until it makes sense. Or me, a girl in her twenties, choosing to rewatch Season 3 for the seventh time and retexting someone who once knew how I liked my eggs.

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So if you’ve gone back, or thought about it, or left the door open just a little this is your reminder that you’re not alone. Maybe it doesn’t make sense. Maybe it’s not a forever kind of thing. But maybe it’s human. And sometimes, being human just means pressing play again.