Your Relationship Called And It's Waving A Red Flag

History has seen it all. Genuine feelings that were brushed aside, tucked neatly under the carpet of someone else’s unresolved issues. That little tinge in your gut? It’s not stage fright; it’s your intuition quietly clearing its throat. But we hush it, don’t we? Because, well, quote unquote, butterflies.

Romanticising the unease and mistaking adrenaline for affection is a corner of guilty pleasure we all have, perhaps not ready to unleash yet. Suddenly, his having a dog and using decent choice of punctuation becomes the hill that we’re emotionally willing to die on. But here’s the thing — correct use of commas doesn’t make him the one. Sometimes, it just means he knows where to put the pause before the disappointment.

We all secretly need the metaphorical binoculars, not to judge others (okay, maybe a little), but to recognise the red flags we’ve moved past, excused, or, let’s be honest, occasionally become ourselves. Because awareness isn’t just sexy — it’s self-preservation with better boundaries.

Love Or Bruises?

Abuse, whether physical or emotional, falls under the same circus with different costumes. The emotional kind is especially sneaky; it doesn’t come with visible bruises, just a PhD in confusion. One minute you’re the love of their life, the next you’re apparently too much — too loud, too emotional, too everything. 

It’s a dizzying performance of walking on eggshells while pretending it’s a waltz. Somehow, you end up saying sorry for the way you breathe, and that charming little word gets rebranded as understanding. If red flags were frequent flyer miles, some people would have a free trip to therapy by now.

Poor Communication, Rich Plotting

The silent assassin of modern relationships, and probably one of his favourite hobbies. It’s not even dramatic anymore; it’s just texts left on “read” and an emotional Morse code no one bothers to decode. One person has already planned the guest list for the wedding, while the other is planning a blueprint for their exit strategy. 

Conversations now sound like riddles wrapped in passive-aggressive emojis. Heaven forbid someone says, “Can we talk?” — suddenly, there’s network trouble, a global emergency, or spontaneous amnesia. It’s fascinating how people can post an entire essay on Instagram about authenticity yet struggle to string together a simple “Hey, this is what I want.” Truly, Shakespeare could never.

Gaslighting

The art form of making you doubt your own Wi-Fi signal and your sanity. It’s psychological origami: twisting your words, folding your memories, and presenting them back to you as “overreactions.” One moment you’re sure the sky is blue, and five minutes later you’re apologising for how aggressively you said it.

The gaslighter’s toolkit includes selective memory, Oscar-worthy victim acting, and the classic phrase: “It's not you, it's me.” Funny, because it really is you. Nobody favours an emotional trickery disguised as intellect and manipulation with a manicure.

Extreme Jealousy

That intoxicating blend of insecurity and imagination on steroids. At first, it’s flattering: someone cares enough to notice when you breathe near another human. Adorable. Until suddenly you’re being interrogated like a suspect in a Netflix crime documentary because you said “thanks” to a barista. It’s less romantic intensity and more FBI surveillance with mood swings. They will swear it’s because they love too much, which is like saying arson is just an enthusiastic approach to warmth. Possession isn’t passion — it’s just insecurity wearing designer cologne.

Lack Of Accountability

The unofficial national sport of the emotionally immature. It’s truly an art, turning every mistake into a group project you never signed up for. These are the people who could burn your house down and then say, “Well, technically, you gave me the lighter.” Apologies, if they come at all, arrive wrapped in disclaimers like “I’m sorry you felt that way” or a poetic way of saying, “This is still your fault.” It’s fascinating, really, how some can dodge responsibility with the agility of an Olympic gymnast yet trip over the simplest word: sorry. Accountability isn’t that hard; it’s just honesty without the personality changes.

Love Bombing

Right, a cute word with a deceitful purpose and the emotional fireworks show that starts with confetti but ends with caution tapes. It’s all grand gestures, dramatic declarations, and “I’ve never felt this way before” texts sent three business minutes after meeting you. At first, it feels obsessive — like you’ve accidentally stumbled into a Nicholas Sparks montage. But then, just as you start to believe it’s real, the affection evaporates faster than their promises.

Love bombing isn’t romance, it’s a strategy with a hint of sparkle. It’s less “soulmate energy” and more “marketing campaign with emotional glitter.” By the time the glitter settles, you’re left realising it wasn’t love — it was just very enthusiastic manipulation with good lighting because girl, he's just not that into you.