Why Self-Bribery Works Wonders

If you think back to childhood, you’ll remember adults were masters of the bribe. Eat your broccoli? You’d get cake. Do your homework? Extra telly time. It was a cunning system to make us do what we’d rather avoid. Then, somewhere along the way, we were expected to grow up and stop needing rewards. But being a responsible adult is far harder than eating a floret of broccoli. So why did we ditch self-bribery? Good news, we don’t have to. Dopamine anchoring is a clever life hack that lets you reward yourself for tackling the boring stuff. And honestly, I think it’s brilliant.

The Big Sandwich of Joy and Misery

Let’s start with what dopamine anchoring actually is. Imagine you’re faced with a task you can’t stand, like cleaning the bathroom or making that dreaded dentist appointment. Instead of just slogging through it, you “sandwich” the experience between something you genuinely enjoy. It might be blasting your favourite playlist while you scrub limescale. Or promising yourself an indulgent bubble bath as soon as you’re done. Over time, your brain starts to link the unpleasant chore with the feel-good rush of your little treat. You’re basically tricking your neural pathways into thinking the whole ordeal isn’t so bad. In my opinion, it’s also a beautifully honest approach. Because adult life is a never-ending to-do list, if pairing life admin with a scented candle helps you feel less like running away to live in a hut, then why wouldn’t you?

A Psychological High-Five

What makes dopamine anchoring more than just a cute trend is the science behind it. The psychological principle is called the “anchoring effect.” Essentially, every time you pair an annoying task with something pleasant, your brain creates a mental association. If you always light the same candle before you sit down to do paperwork, eventually that scent will become a signal that you’re about to achieve something. Your brain gets a little dopamine hit, like a pat on the back, just for showing up.

I’ve tried this myself. I used to dread going food shopping, especially on a Sunday afternoon, when everyone else in town has the same idea. But then I started saving a particular podcast, an utterly addictive series, only for grocery trips. Now, I almost look forward to it.

If you need inspiration, here are some dopamine-boosting pairings you can try:

• Booking appointments + ordering your favourite takeaway
• Filing taxes + a glass of good wine
• Tidying the house + listening to a soul-nourishing podcast
• Going to the gym + promising yourself a hot, luxurious bath and a fresh set of pyjamas

The possibilities are endless, and so are the rewards.

Not Just a Hack

We’ve been conditioned to believe we should power through our days on willpower alone, like some sort of machine. But life isn’t a sprint; it’s a never-ending series of small battles. Why shouldn’t we make it feel a bit softer? A bit kinder?

That said, a word of caution: moderation is key. If you become reliant on these dopamine boosts every time you face something challenging, you could end up avoiding discomfort altogether. In other words, if you can’t send an email without promising yourself a shopping spree, it might be time for a reset.

I think a little self-indulgence is nothing to feel guilty about. After all, nobody is going to swoop in and hand out gold stars for doing the laundry. You have to be your own reward system. So if pairing a menial task with something that lights you up helps you get through the day, embrace it wholeheartedly.

Dopamine anchoring is, quite simply, the grown-up version of “Eat your peas, then you can have pudding.” And honestly, pudding was always the best bit. If you can transform the drudgery of everyday life into something that feels (almost) enjoyable, you’re already winning. Because being an adult is hard enough. You deserve all the dopamine you can get.

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