We’ve all fantasised about recreating those iconic movie sex scenes—the ones that make you think, “Why doesn’t my life look like that?” Hollywood has a knack for turning everyday places into tantalising playgrounds, whether it’s the steamy elevator moment in Fifty Shades of Grey or the spontaneous kitchen table antics à la Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But before you channel your inner Anastasia Steele, here’s a reality check: some of these so-called “sexy” spots are more about bruised egos and awkward moments than actual pleasure. Let’s spill the tea on movie-inspired sex locations that are better left to your Netflix queue.
Fantasy vs. Reality: The Airplane Bathroom
In movies, the airplane bathroom is the go-to spot for spontaneous mid-air passion—cue scenes from Euphoria’s Nate and Maddy sneaking off mid-flight. But real talk: airplane bathrooms are barely big enough for one person, let alone two. Add turbulence, the screechy sound of flushing, and a mile-high lineup of people waiting their turn, and you’re looking at a recipe for disaster. Hygiene concerns aside, claustrophobia is real, and unless you enjoy the thrill of being pressed against a toilet, it’s probably best to keep your fantasies grounded.
Sandy Beaches: More Ouch Than Oooh
Sure, you’ve seen countless influencers on Instagram posing on the beach at sunset, and it’s a trope in every other Love Island villa clip, but sex on the beach is better as a cocktail than a reality. Sand gets everywhere—and we mean everywhere. Forget about the romantic vision of waves gently lapping at your feet; you’ll be dealing with grit in uncomfortable places, and possibly a few crabs (the literal kind). The reality is more awkward scooting and awkwardly brushing off sand than sexy movie magic.
Elevators: The Rise and Fall of the Fantasy
Elevator sex seems to be the go-to for spontaneous passion, thanks to the likes of Succession’s Shiv and Tom and more recently You’s Joe Goldberg. The closed doors, the thrill of getting caught—it’s hot until you remember the security cameras are watching your every move. Elevators also don’t stop just because you’re busy. Imagine the awkwardness when the doors slide open to a wide-eyed stranger or, worse, your boss. It’s a quick way to turn sexy into cringe-worthy, and no one wants their intimate moment going viral for all the wrong reasons.
Public Bathrooms: Love at First Swipe (of Sanitizer)
We’ve all been there: a night out, too many drinks, and suddenly the bathroom seems like a good idea. Inspired by the likes of Sex Education or The White Lotus, it might seem like a naughty way to spice things up. But real talk—public restrooms are less about passion and more about avoiding contact with any surface. With the background noise of hand dryers, banging doors, and the echoing sounds of flushing, you’re more likely to get an adrenaline rush from dodging germs than from anything sexy. Leave this one to the movies and keep your hands clean, literally.
The Risky Rooftop: High Hopes, Higher Risks
There’s something undeniably alluring about being on a rooftop, the city lights glowing below, the stars above. But before you channel Emily in Paris or go for a rooftop scene like in Outer Banks, remember that rooftops come with real risks. Wind, neighbours, and the very real possibility of falling don’t make for a sexy combination. Balancing on a ledge may look Instagrammable, but the fear of plummeting to the ground is a sure mood killer. Keep your feet (and other things) firmly planted on the ground.
Office Antics: From Boardroom to Boring
Blame it on shows like Industry or Succession, where the power dynamics of office life make desk sex look like the ultimate taboo thrill. But before you clear off your desk, think about it: cramped workspaces, the risk of getting caught on CCTV, and the uncomfortable feeling of paper clips sticking to your skin. Not to mention, most modern offices have glass walls. It’s all fun and games until HR gets involved or you’re caught in the act during a Zoom call. Best to leave the office politics in the boardroom, not the bedroom.
So, here’s the scoop: while these scenes look great on the big screen, real life is a bit less glamorous. Some fantasies are better left to movies, or at least to places that won’t leave you with sand in awkward places, a sprained ankle, or a call to the emergency services. So next time you’re tempted to recreate your favourite movie scene, maybe stick to the couch—because, at the end of the day, the sexiest moments are the ones that don’t end with a trip to the ER.
